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Former X Factor panelist Dannii Minogue is returning to British TV screens as a judge on Britain And Ireland's Next Top Model.

The Critics: VIDEOS

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (12). Defrosted in 1997 after 30 years in a cryogenic freeze, Swinging Sixties private eye Austin Powers (Mike Myers) picks up exactly where he left off. That's the one joke in this mostly good-natured kitsch-fest (written by Myers and directed by Jay Roach), and thankfully, it's a reasonably amusing one. Myers, who also plays Austin's psychotic nemesis, Dr Evil, is at his nutty best, spitting out one absurdly anachronistic catchphrase after another. The comedy is occasionally juvenile - indeed, the proliferation of robot babes (not to mention the casting of Elizabeth Hurley) is indicative of the film's target audience - but the overall exuberance makes up for it.

Wednesday's Book: Promises Lovers Make When It Gets Late by Darian Leader

The last time I saw my ex-lover, he made a sweeping promise to always and ever be good to me. About an hour later he was, metaphorically speaking, beating the hell out of me. The episode bears sublime witness to the thesis of Darian Leader's second book-length meditation on the paradoxes attending sexual love. Once uttered, a promise virtually promises to be broken. As Leader says: "A promise might seem like a blessing, but at its horizon is more often a farewell than a future."

The tabloid casting couch of Lara Croft

When people free associate on the subject of Lara Croft, breasts are what come to mind - and the actresses made for the part choose themselves. But, asks Paul McCann, is it real?

Cinema / Mrs Brown, you've got a lovely servant

A Public increasingly disenchanted with monarchy; a hostile press using telescopic lenses to spy out regal indiscretion; the untimely death of the most popular royal: although set in the 1860s, Mrs Brown (PG) has unwittingly acquired some grim contemporary resonances.

WCRS founder says bad advice cost him pounds 1m

One of the stars of the advertising industry's 1980s heyday is still fighting for compensation from a leading private client stockbroker, five years after he claims bad advice and negligent handling of his account cost him more than a million pounds.

City+: I work for Bella Freud

Cozette McCreer is PA to the fashion designer

Best bosom buddies

La Hurley may go without, but the bra is a girl's best friend, says James Sherwood

Dresser of the stars

This front row picture only tells half of the story. Hugh Grant, Elizabeth Hurley, Patsy Kensit and Meg Matthews stare in raptures as the most outrageous of supermodels, Naomi Campbell, struts her stuff at Gianni Versace's ready-to-wear show in March. That Versace could attract superstars and celebrities was one his greatest coups: his clothes intentionally reeked of sex, power, money, and glamour in equal, not ascending, order and have done since the mid-Eighties when dressing for success was as important as breathing.

Never knowingly underdressed

When Janet Street-Porter announced that she was going to auction her wardrobe, the press showed they couldn't tell a princess from a frog, says The Independent's fashion editor, Tamsin Blanchard

Not your everyday jobbing snapper

Vanessa Thorpe meets Peter Beard, photographer and 'friend' to elephants

How to get a woman to disrobe

You need `Suspicious Minds' and a good hotel, says photographer John Stoddart; It's no use hoping the top will fall off halfway through a roll of film; you've got to talk about it, and then it's up to the woman Illustration by Joe Magee

So farewell then, sexual intercourse

The orgasm stuff. This orgasm-in-a-bottle business. We have to come to terms with the fact that, thanks to modern science, women can now go out and buy something which, when washed down with a glass of soothing water, will make them yowl like Siamese cats then roll over with that placid smile on their faces, the one which they wear just before they say: "What? What are you looking at? Oh no. Forget it. Have you any idea what time it is?"

Style Police: Face facts: the beautiful game sucks

For every mouthy actress who wins a contract to represent a cosmetic giant, a supermodel goes hungry... James Sherwood advises Emmanuelle Beart to leave it to the professionals

Women too scared to go out alone

Violent crime is rising, but it is the fear of violence rather than actual attacks which is changing female lifestyles, writes Glenda Cooper

And through the mist may walk Liz Hurley

THE SUNDAY WALK: Wander through the unspoilt Cotswold town of Winchcombe and its surrounds, just a couple of hours from London
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Arts and Entertainment
Robin Thicke's video for 'Blurred Lines' has been criticised for condoning rape
Paper trail: the wedding photograph found in the rubble after 9/11 – it took Elizabeth Keefe 13 years to find the people in it
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Yes supporters gather outside the Usher Hall, which is hosting a Night for Scotland in Edinburgh
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Matt Damon as Jason Bourne in The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)
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Evil eye: Douglas Adams in 'mad genius' pose
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tech... and together they're worth at least £100 million
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While many films were released, few managed to match the success of James Bond blockbuster 'Skyfall'
filmsDaniel Craig is believed to be donning skies as 007 for the first time
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Fringe show: 'Cilla', with Sheridan Smith in the title role and Aneurin Barnard as her future husband Bobby Willis
tvEllen E Jones on ITV's 'Cilla'
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Mystery of the Ground Zero wedding photo

A shot in the dark

Mystery of the wedding photo from Ground Zero
His life, the universe and everything

His life, the universe and everything

New biography sheds light on comic genius of Douglas Adams
Save us from small screen superheroes

Save us from small screen superheroes

Shows like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D are little more than marketing tools
Reach for the skies

Reach for the skies

From pools to football pitches, rooftop living is looking up
These are the 12 best hotel spas in the UK

12 best hotel spas in the UK

Some hotels go all out on facilities; others stand out for the sheer quality of treatments
These Iranian-controlled Shia militias used to specialise in killing American soldiers. Now they are fighting Isis, backed up by US airstrikes

Widespread fear of Isis is producing strange bedfellows

Iranian-controlled Shia militias that used to kill American soldiers are now fighting Isis, helped by US airstrikes
Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

Shoppers don't come to Topshop for the unique
How to make a Lego masterpiece

How to make a Lego masterpiece

Toy breaks out of the nursery and heads for the gallery
Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

Urbanites are cursed with an acronym pointing to Employed but No Disposable Income or Savings
Paisley’s decision to make peace with IRA enemies might remind the Arabs of Sadat

Ian Paisley’s decision to make peace with his IRA enemies

His Save Ulster from Sodomy campaign would surely have been supported by many a Sunni imam
'She was a singer, a superstar, an addict, but to me, her mother, she is simply Amy'

'She was a singer, a superstar, an addict, but to me, her mother, she is simply Amy'

Exclusive extract from Janis Winehouse's poignant new memoir
Is this the role to win Cumberbatch an Oscar?

Is this the role to win Cumberbatch an Oscar?

The Imitation Game, film review
England and Roy Hodgson take a joint step towards redemption in Basel

England and Hodgson take a joint step towards redemption

Welbeck double puts England on the road to Euro 2016
Relatives fight over Vivian Maier’s rare photos

Relatives fight over Vivian Maier’s rare photos

Pictures removed from public view as courts decide ownership
‘Fashion has to be fun. It’s a big business, not a cure for cancer’

‘Fashion has to be fun. It’s a big business, not a cure for cancer’

Donatella Versace at New York Fashion Week