News Sir David Attenborough: 'I promised I would do something'

It's a theory that hasn't been proposed by politicians yet

Postcard from New York: Blood on the streets

New York may lack a Groucho Club, a Garrick, a Hurlingham, and other contenders in the home-away-from-school, Drones' tradition, but this is not to say that New York has no exclusive societies at all. Alumni of the Ivy League can gain admittance to stately and soporific college clubs, where the stuffed wart-hog heads in the lounge look infinitely more animated than the men who sit beneath them. After a Nobel Prize or two, creative types can eventually hope to swell the ranks of the very Jamesian Century Club, where they will pop in for chicken soup and a brief confab every solstice or two. But by far the most elite club of all is the city's premier youth gang, the Bloods, whose attractions are so alluring that people lately have been going so far as to slit a vein in their bids to win membership. It is perhaps unfortunate that the veins they slit are not their own. To become a full-fledged Blood, entitled to sport cigarette-burn insignia and assorted "wilding" paraphernalia, aspirants must slash a total stranger.

Return of the living dead to a cinema near you

With 'Scream' raking it in at the box office, are we about to see another renaissance of the horror film? asks Tim Cornwell

Box Clever: Frights of your life

Psycho Alfred Hitchock's classic chiller has aged well. As Barker says, who has never thought of this film at some point while taking a shower?

The bro also rises

interview Joaquin Phoenix: Meet 'Wah-keen', formerly known as Leaf: sibling of River (also of Rain, Summer and Liberty), boyfriend of Liv (Tyler) and 22-year-old upcoming screen god owner of weird name and upcoming screen god

also showing...

Scream Wes Craven (18) Female Perversions Susan Streitfeld (18) The Boy from Mercury Martin Duffy (PG) Liar Liar Tom Shadyac (12) Margaret's Museum Mort Ransen (15) It Takes Two Andy Tennant (PG)

The sweet sound of the ovation

THEATRE

THEATRE Halloween Night Rough Magic, Dublin

Combining the peer-group reunion idea of his Digging for Fire with the blackly ironic use of the supernatural in New Morning, Declan Hughes's sardonic new play, Halloween Night, slots into the Donmar Warehouse next week after its Dublin run. Again, Hughes is concerned with urban, university-educated adolescents in their early 30s, coverging on yet another vapid, unhappy, evening of alcohol; here, in a house on the west coast of Ireland, on a night when dead souls are supposed to be roaming the earth.

ON THE FRINGE Seventy Scenes of Halloween; Get Out of Hear!; It Took More Than One Man

The 70th scene in Seventy Scenes of Halloween (Pentameters, Hampstead) consists solely of a banner with the words "The End" daubed in crude strokes of stage-blood. It's Jeffrey M Jones's little joke, at once acknowledging his work's resemblance to a cheap horror movie and re-summoning, at the 11th hour, the conventional narrative spirit which the previous 68 scenes have all but exorcised. By this stage, the two protagonists - an ordinary- looking suburban couple, Joan and Jeff - have experienced much grisly stabbing and smothering. But the American playwright's cut-up technique, by which the order of proceedings is seemingly determined at random, has disorientated us so much that we no longer expect fatal actions to be of any consequence.

People expect rapists to be on the loose in other cities, not here

A series of horrific rapes has shocked Bath, reports Jason Bennetto

Mother grabs back children in a Lebanon schoolyard

American woman and charity workers in dramatic airport dash

Swinging with a ghost writer

Lucy O'Brien enjoys a horror spoof

Witch hunt

Beer: Hubble, bubble ... to drink it means trouble. Some brews for Halloween

Why he never sold his soul

`Whoring out' is not what John Carpenter does. He lies low until the smoke clears and then makes another movie - that's all his own. By Nick Hasted

When your private life spills out of a cardboard bag on to the street, it's time to take stock

I have been scared of some really dumb things in my time. When I was five, my Mum took me to see Cats, but I was scared of Brian Blessed so we had to leave. The same year, I had a fabulously successful birthday party, at which I held court like a mini Joan Collins until I decided I was scared of the lighted candles on my cake. I screamed and cried and curled up beneath a table until my Montessori mates had to be sent home.

A being that works in mysterious ways

Who is to say what is a proper religion? That all-seeing judge of transcendental things, the Charity Commission
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No postcode? No vote

Floating voters

How living on a houseboat meant I didn't officially 'exist'
Louis Theroux's affable Englishman routine begins to wear thin

By Reason of Insanity

Louis Theroux's affable Englishman routine begins to wear thin
Power dressing is back – but no shoulderpads!

Power dressing is back

But banish all thoughts of Eighties shoulderpads
Spanish stone-age cave paintings 'under threat' after being re-opened to the public

Spanish stone-age cave paintings in Altamira 'under threat'

Caves were re-opened to the public
'I was the bookies’ favourite to be first to leave the Cabinet'

Vince Cable interview

'I was the bookies’ favourite to be first to leave the Cabinet'
Election 2015: How many of the Government's coalition agreement promises have been kept?

Promises, promises

But how many coalition agreement pledges have been kept?
The Gaza fisherman who built his own reef - and was shot dead there by an Israeli gunboat

The death of a Gaza fisherman

He built his own reef, and was fatally shot there by an Israeli gunboat
Saudi Arabia's airstrikes in Yemen are fuelling the Gulf's fire

Saudi airstrikes are fuelling the Gulf's fire

Arab intervention in Yemen risks entrenching Sunni-Shia divide and handing a victory to Isis, says Patrick Cockburn
Zayn Malik's departure from One Direction shows the perils of fame in the age of social media

The only direction Zayn could go

We wince at the anguish of One Direction's fans, but Malik's departure shows the perils of fame in the age of social media
Young Magician of the Year 2015: Meet the schoolgirl from Newcastle who has her heart set on being the competition's first female winner

Spells like teen spirit

A 16-year-old from Newcastle has set her heart on being the first female to win Young Magician of the Year. Jonathan Owen meets her
Jonathan Anderson: If fashion is a cycle, this young man knows just how to ride it

If fashion is a cycle, this young man knows just how to ride it

British designer Jonathan Anderson is putting his stamp on venerable house Loewe
Number plates scheme could provide a licence to offend in the land of the free

Licence to offend in the land of the free

Cash-strapped states have hit on a way of making money out of drivers that may be in collision with the First Amendment, says Rupert Cornwell
From farm to fork: Meet the Cornish fishermen, vegetable-growers and butchers causing a stir in London's top restaurants

From farm to fork in Cornwall

One man is bringing together Cornwall's most accomplished growers, fishermen and butchers with London's best chefs to put the finest, freshest produce on the plates of some of the country’s best restaurants
Robert Parker interview: The world's top wine critic on tasting 10,000 bottles a year, absurd drinking notes and New World wannabes

Robert Parker interview

The world's top wine critic on tasting 10,000 bottles a year, absurd drinking notes and New World wannabes
Don't believe the stereotype - or should you?

Don't believe the stereotype - or should you?

We exaggerate regional traits and turn them into jokes - and those on the receiving end are in on it too, says DJ Taylor