Sarah Ferguson

Julie Burchill: Celebrity redemption is even more sickening than

I've been thinking about Reformed Characters this week, as Russell Brand and the Duchess of York – and their little Venn baby, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson – all variously parade their guilt and redemption as though they were the latest designer lust-haves. Frankly I wouldn't know guilt and redemption even if I had a threesome with them and they showed me a playback of it the next day, but it's certainly a very popular pose right now – even more so with the falling away of faith in this country. Which goes to prove that clever old GK Chesterton got it right when he said: "When a man ceases to believe in God he does not believe in nothing, he believes in anything."

Pandora: Nul points! Copyright battle with a twist

Sandie Shaw versus the EU: could one ask for a more fantastic feud? Yet it seems that this one is a reality, after the right-on Sixties singer – lately a campaigner for musicians' copyrights – found her attempts to lobby the European Parliament thwarted by Brussels bureaucracy.

Sarah, duchess of York: Red alert

You got to hand it to Fergie: she's a game old girl. Next week the world will be exposed to the tale of how Sarah, Duchess of York, left her £2.5m New York apartment overlooking Central Park to travel to Hull to lecture the underclass about healthy eating.