Arts and Entertainment Robert De Niro and Sylvester Stallone attend the 'Grudge Match' Rome Premiere

The screenplay is as sclerotic and slow moving as its two punch drunk leads

Comic Oprah with a kosher touch: She's fat, she's brassy, she's bold, she's funny - she also read English at Cambridge and she's about to fill your TV screen

START Vanessa Feltz off on a subject - any subject, but especially Jewishness, fatness or sex - and the patter comes thick and funny and fast. 'She usually gives good quotes,' says her husband, Mike, an orthopaedic surgeon, when Vanessa has gone to change into an evening gown so she that can stand in the rubble that will one day be her kitchen to have her photograph taken. It was her idea.

Fashion Update: Princely disdain

INCREDIBLE. There are some people in the world for whom a Versace fashion show is not quite the heavenly fashion moment it's cooked up to be.

Fashion Update: Sly and sweaty

SECURITY at the Paris Ritz was super-tight, thanks to the presence in the hotel of 'Symbol', Linda E and Kyle, plus Sly Stallone and Janice. But that didn't stop Andre Leon Talley, the towering creative director of US Vogue. 'Sorry sir,' said Sly's bodyguard, holding out a hand to stop Andre joining Sly, hot from the hotel gym, in the lift. 'Oh I wouldn't touch him, he's all sweaty,' chirped Andre, and jumped inside anyway.

Leading Article: The wonderful world of Disney subversion

THE accountants at the Walt Disney Company must have been reading the American press with unusual enjoyment over recent weeks. Not only have most US papers reported that Disney's latest cartoon epic, The Lion King, grossed almost as much in its first week at the cinemas as Jurassic Park, last year's moneyspinner; they have also provided further useful publicity by fomenting a controversy over the film's alleged subversive political messages.

Born-again beach boy Versace forsakes rock dinosaurs for younger market

EASY jackets shrugged over bare, glistening gym-defined chests and skintight PVC jeans gave the opening of Gianni Versace's men's fashion shows yesterday the mood of Miami, though the venue was Milan.

CINEMA / Loathed, loved, and laughing: His movies have grossed a billion dollars. So why isn't John Landis more feted? Maybe because he's too entertaining. Anthony Quinn listens to him

FROM THE lounge of John Landis's hotel suite come these . . . noises, a little like someone doing an impersonation of Jerry Lewis doing an impersonation of Tarzan, followed by howling gales of laughter. Apparently he's always this way, even when jet-lagged and cooped up on a sweltering June day giving interviews. Suddenly Landis explodes into the room, followed by two GLR radio reporters looking pretty shell-shocked after their allotted hour with him. Bearded and bespectacled, kitted out in regulation preppy jacket and tie, he has the look of a maths professor and the mile-a-minute chatter of a used-car salesman. 'You're from the Independent? One of your photographers was here yesterday; she's the one who photographs these men dressed up as babies] No kidding] Just take a look . . .' He leaps to the other side of the room to pluck a magazine from his bag and show the photos to the PR team. 'They wanted to take my picture with me wearing a wolf mask] I don't know why - but I didn't mind.'

Rambo's heroics turned to ashes

HE IS supposed to be a super-fit muscle man, capable of leaping a yawning chasm in one bound. Yet while Rambo bravely cavorted across the big screen, it seems he was being paid to try to persuade us all to smoke cigarettes.

Obituary: Dack Rambo

Dack Rambo, actor, died Delano, California 21 March, aged 53. Best known for playing Jack Ewing in the television soap opera Dallas from 1985 to 1987.

Pembroke: Baling out at the supermarket checkout

MOVE OVER Air Miles, Balloon Miles is on your tail. Flying Pictures, which has organised airborne stunts for films such as Sylvester Stallone's Cliffhanger and five Bond movies, including Live and Let Die, is muscling into the market.

Sex is important to me, but only when I'm sure I'm in love: In bed with Mariella Frostrup

Mariella Frostrup is a broadcaster and journalist. She presents 'The Little Picture Show', a late-night film magazine programme, on Carlton Television.

How a small boy turned nasty before video was invented

DOES TV violence really encourage real violence? Will children go out and hit each other after seeing violence on the screen? Is the Government more likely to go out and bomb the Serbs after seeing the Nine O'Clock News? Is violence fun? Should we all try it before we condemn it so readily?

I Confess: Kate Pullinger's love of Arnold Schwarzenegger

'MOST of the serious-minded Americans I know feel under threat from the deluge of trash that is American popular culture. As a Canadian who has adopted this country, I have a different take on this. I mean, I even love Las Vegas. I think I'd live there if I could.

FILM / Sleeping your way to the top

There are a number of versions of the old Hollywood story about breaking into the movies. You wait tables, hoping to serve a studio big cheese. You play bit parts and spare parts on TV or straight-to-video features. Or, like Ginger Lynn Allen, you take the horizontal route via hard-core skin flicks and pray for the day when you're recognised with your clothes on. That day, she tells Sheila Johnston, has come. But at what cost?

'Rambo' snatches man in love triangle as wife and mistress wrangle

A domestic row is coming to a head as Adul Boonyakul, a Thai man, holds his estranged wife at gunpoint in a Bangkok street in an attempt to persuade her to return to him, while his mistress tries to calm him down. The angry wife later lunged at the mistress, enabling a police dog called Rambo to rush in and seize Mr Boonyakul.

Kick Boxing: Saturday night was made for fighting: Kick boxing combines grace and brutality as Britons seek global limelight. Mike Rowbottom reports

THE Master of Ceremonies smiled like the Cheshire Cat in the centre of the ring. 'Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready?' he enquired, with the required degree of showbiz archness.
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Argentinian scored 'rabona' wonder goal for Tottenham in Europa League – see it here

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Funds raised from the sale of poppies help the members of the armed forces with financial difficulties
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One bedroom terraced house for sale, Richmond Avenue, Islington, London N1. On with Winkworths for £275,000.
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Nigel Farage has backed DJ Mike Read's new Ukip song
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Wilko Johnson, now the bad news: musician splits with manager after police investigate assault claims

Wilko Johnson, now the bad news

Former Dr Feelgood splits with manager after police investigate assault claims
Mark Udall: The Democrat Senator with a fight on his hands ahead of the US midterm elections

Mark Udall: The Democrat Senator with a fight on his hands

The Senator for Colorado is for gay rights, for abortion rights – and in the Republicans’ sights as they threaten to take control of the Senate next month
New discoveries show more contact between far-flung prehistoric humans than had been thought

New discoveries show more contact between far-flung prehistoric humans than had been thought

Evidence found of contact between Easter Islanders and South America
Cerys Matthews reveals how her uncle taped 150 interviews for a biography of Dylan Thomas

Cerys Matthews on Dylan Thomas

The singer reveals how her uncle taped 150 interviews for a biography of the famous Welsh poet
DIY is not fun and we've finally realised this as a nation

Homebase closures: 'DIY is not fun'

Homebase has announced the closure of one in four of its stores. Nick Harding, who never did know his awl from his elbow, is glad to see the back of DIY
The Battle of the Five Armies: Air New Zealand releases new Hobbit-inspired in-flight video

Air New Zealand's wizard in-flight video

The airline has released a new Hobbit-inspired clip dubbed "The most epic safety video ever made"
Pumpkin spice is the flavour of the month - but can you stomach the sweetness?

Pumpkin spice is the flavour of the month

The combination of cinnamon, clove, nutmeg (and no actual pumpkin), now flavours everything from lattes to cream cheese in the US
11 best sonic skincare brushes

11 best sonic skincare brushes

Forget the flannel - take skincare to the next level by using your favourite cleanser with a sonic facial brush
Paul Scholes column: I'm not worried about Manchester United's defence - Chelsea test can be the making of Phil Jones and Marcos Rojo

Paul Scholes column

I'm not worried about Manchester United's defence - Chelsea test can be the making of Jones and Rojo
Frank Warren: Boxing has its problems but in all my time I've never seen a crooked fight

Frank Warren: Boxing has its problems but in all my time I've never seen a crooked fight

While other sports are stalked by corruption, we are an easy target for the critics
Jamie Roberts exclusive interview: 'I'm a man of my word – I'll stay in Paris'

Jamie Roberts: 'I'm a man of my word – I'll stay in Paris'

Wales centre says he’s not coming home but is looking to establish himself at Racing Métro
How could three tourists have been battered within an inch of their lives by a burglar in a plush London hotel?

A crime that reveals London's dark heart

How could three tourists have been battered within an inch of their lives by a burglar in a plush London hotel?
Meet 'Porridge' and 'Vampire': Chinese state TV is offering advice for citizens picking a Western moniker

Lost in translation: Western monikers

Chinese state TV is offering advice for citizens picking a Western moniker. Simon Usborne, who met a 'Porridge' and a 'Vampire' while in China, can see the problem
Handy hacks that make life easier: New book reveals how to rid your inbox of spam, protect your passwords and amplify your iPhone

Handy hacks that make life easier

New book reveals how to rid your email inbox of spam, protect your passwords and amplify your iPhone with a loo-roll
KidZania lets children try their hands at being a firefighter, doctor or factory worker for the day

KidZania: It's a small world

The new 'educational entertainment experience' in London's Shepherd's Bush will allow children to try out the jobs that are usually undertaken by adults, including firefighter, doctor or factory worker