Israel will maintain contact with Hezbollah, so why should Europe stop?

The Israelis will continue to maintain contact with the Hezballah ‘militant staff’ whenever they want a body swap

Share
Related Topics

So now European diplomats cannot meet the “militant wing” of Hezbollah.

Well, blow me down.  I suppose that “political wing” – those who have been elected to the Lebanese parliament – can be found on the first floor of Hezbollah HQ in the southern suburbs of Beirut, while Our Man in Lebanon must not, under any circumstances, take the elevator to the seventh floor where the bearded chappies who fire rockets at Israel and who may (or may not) have murdered Israeli tourists in Bulgaria have their bureau. Zounds! The Israelis will be pleased about all this.

For it is the Israelis who are supposedly going to benefit. Hezbollah fighters will be downgraded to zero in the eyes of the EU. And let me forget for a moment that I’ve never met a Hezbollah gunman who has ever shown the slightest interest in meeting any of the stultifyingly boring Euro-diplomats who frolic their way through Beirut. And the EU will no longer allow all those bearded supporters in Europe to send cheques “Payable to: Hezbollah” in the mail. Well, that’s sure zapped the bad guys.

Of course, the Israelis will themselves continue to maintain contact with the Hezbollah “militant wing” whenever they want a body swap, usually on the exchange rate of two Israeli bodies equalling three or four hundred Hezbollah corpses. I have witnessed these macabre events and the “interlocuteur valable” is always the same:  the head of the German intelligence service.  He maintains excellent relations with the Israelis and with Hezbollah and often visits Lebanon. Are we supposed to believe that Germany will no longer offer its good services to the Israelis if it means chatting to Hezbollah’s “militant wing” – since Germany is a member of the EU? Forget it. The head of the German spooks – like the Brits and the Americans and anyone else – will go on talking to the bad guys if “national interests” are involved – and especially if Israel’s interests are involved.

I do, alas, recall how an equally spooky organisation used real British passports to engineer a political assassination in the United Arab Emirates not long ago, a nation whose “militant wing” will go on meeting EU diplomats: Israel. But it only needed the former British ambassador in Beirut to blog a benevolent line about the late Shia prelate Mohammad Fadlallah – not on the “militant wing”, I should add – to have Israel roaring and raging about her outrageous behaviour. Her Britannic Majesty’s Foreign and Commonwealth Office, needless to say, grovelled its usual apologies.But cheer up, it’s more of a joke than a sanction. I can think of one political leader who signs off on casual  executions. He uses a wondrous  machine called a drone and his name is Obama and we’re surely not going to refuse to talk to his “militant wing” when our “militant staff” is fighting alongside his “militant wing” in Afghanistan.

We hate Syrian President Bashar al-Assad so much that we ran away from our embassy in Damascus and now operate the laughably-named “Damascus Team” from outside Syria in the vain hope that we can find out what’s happening there. Now we are going to cut our contacts with Hezbollah. Bravo. Time was when we used to go on breathing the halitosis of the bad guys even when they had proved themselves to be absolutely awful. There’s that corporal, isn’t there, who gobbled up Austria and then gobbled up Czechoslovakia and we only really got antsy when he started gobbling up Poland? But at least we knew what the wretched man was about. He sent his chaps into Prague with more fanfare than the Hezbollah sent their chaps into Qusayr. And we rubbed shoulders with his “political wing” in Berlin until 3 September 1939. I guess times change.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
SPONSORED FEATURES
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Clinical Lead / RGN

£40000 - £42000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...

Recruitment Genius: IT Sales Consultant

£35000 - £40000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This IT support company has a n...

Recruitment Genius: Works Engineer

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: A works engineer is required in a progressive ...

Recruitment Genius: Trainee Hire Manager - Tool Hire

£21000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Our client is seeking someone w...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

I don't blame parents who move to get their child into a good school

Chris Blackhurst
William Hague, addresses delegates at the Conservative party conference for the last time in his political career in Birmingham  

It’s only natural for politicians like William Hague to end up as journalists

Simon Kelner
Migrant crisis: UN official Philippe Douste-Blazy reveals the harrowing sights he encountered among refugees arriving on Lampedusa

‘Can we really just turn away?’

Dead bodies, men drowning, women miscarrying – a senior UN figure on the horrors he has witnessed among migrants arriving on Lampedusa, and urges politicians not to underestimate our caring nature
Nine of Syria and Iraq's 10 world heritage sites are in danger as Isis ravages centuries of history

Nine of Syria and Iraq's 10 world heritage sites are in danger...

... and not just because of Isis vandalism
Girl on a Plane: An exclusive extract of the novelisation inspired by the 1970 Palestinian fighters hijack

Girl on a Plane

An exclusive extract of the novelisation inspired by the 1970 Palestinian fighters hijack
Why Frederick Forsyth's spying days could spell disaster for today's journalists

Why Frederick Forsyth's spying days could spell disaster for today's journalists

The author of 'The Day of the Jackal' has revealed he spied for MI6 while a foreign correspondent
Markus Persson: If being that rich is so bad, why not just give it all away?

That's a bit rich

The billionaire inventor of computer game Minecraft says he is bored, lonely and isolated by his vast wealth. If it’s that bad, says Simon Kelner, why not just give it all away?
Euro 2016: Chris Coleman on course to end half a century of hurt for Wales

Coleman on course to end half a century of hurt for Wales

Wales last qualified for major tournament in 1958 but after several near misses the current crop can book place at Euro 2016 and end all the indifference
Rugby World Cup 2015: The tournament's forgotten XV

Forgotten XV of the rugby World Cup

Now the squads are out, Chris Hewett picks a side of stars who missed the cut
A groundbreaking study of 'Britain's Atlantis' long buried at the bottom of the North Sea could revolutionise how we see our prehistoric past

Britain's Atlantis

Scientific study beneath North Sea could revolutionise how we see the past
The Queen has 'done and said nothing that anybody will remember,' says Starkey

The Queen has 'done and said nothing that anybody will remember'

David Starkey's assessment
Oliver Sacks said his life has been 'an enormous privilege and adventure'

'An enormous privilege and adventure'

Oliver Sacks writing about his life
'Gibraltar is British, and it is going to stay British forever'

'Gibraltar is British, and it is going to stay British forever'

The Rock's Chief Minister hits back at Spanish government's 'lies'
Britain is still addicted to 'dirty coal'

Britain still addicted to 'dirty' coal

Biggest energy suppliers are more dependent on fossil fuel than a decade ago
Orthorexia nervosa: How becoming obsessed with healthy eating can lead to malnutrition

Orthorexia nervosa

How becoming obsessed with healthy eating can lead to malnutrition
Lady Chatterley is not obscene, says TV director

Lady Chatterley’s Lover

Director Jed Mercurio on why DH Lawrence's novel 'is not an obscene story'
Farmers in tropical forests are training ants to kill off bigger pests

Set a pest to catch a pest

Farmers in tropical forests are training ants to kill off bigger pests