Letter from the Arts Editor: Glitzy Award Shows with the dullest of speeches

The Golden Globes, the first shindig in the movie awards season, took place in Los Angeles last night. The results came too late for today’s i, but you will be able to read about the winners tomorrow. I shall be looking to see if any of the winning film stars have broken the habit of a lifetime and actually made a good speech.

Why is it that showbiz awards always feature the most boring acceptance speeches imaginable. Nine times out of 10 they are simply thank-yous to long lists of names. Admittedly, I did once witness Vanessa Redgrave at an awards ceremony breaking down in tears as she thanked the stage carpenter. But such moments of high drama are rare.

With a global TV audience watching, the stars should be able to find something interesting, and dare I suggest witty, to say. We are just at the start of the awards season, but how they would all be improved if they adopted a list of rules for speeches. I would suggest 1. Must make at least one joke 2. Must share an anecdote from behind the scenes. 3. All votes of thanks are banned.

Maybe last night will have seen a series of stirring speeches and I will have been proved wrong. If not, then I continue to wonder why these actors and actresses who all spend money on stylists, fashion designers, hairdressers and the like for the awards ceremonies, don’t spend a far smaller sum on hiring a speechwriter?

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The BBC website has conducted a survey on the clichés that people most dislike on online dating sites. One of the most disliked is “Looking to make friends”. Some pointed out that if they really just wanted to make friends, they would go to a club or book group or sports organisation. One person makes an even more valid point. If you’re an adult and haven’t managed to make any friends, this could imply a personality flaw. Hard to disagree. Online daters – avoid the phrase.

i@independent.co.uk

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