Lisa Markwell: What to expect when she’s expecting

The news that Peaches Geldof is expecting her first baby has been greeted with the usual array of positive and encouraging commentary. Oh, who am I kidding?

Share
Related Topics

 

 

It has unleashed vitriol, scorn and quippery across the Twittersphere and beyond. There seem to be enough strands to this story to keep every snarky onlooker happy.

There’s her youth (22); her appearance (she seems to be much slimmer than in recent years); the youth of her fiancé (20); their brief relationship (affianced just since December) and – this is the biggie – her name.

Oh the ribaldry in imagining what Peaches and Thomas might call their first-born. Will it be Cream? Nectarine? Cashew Fairy Wigwam? Or (with irony levels set to 11) John or Susan?

It makes great sport but is not entirely helpful for a young woman who has inspired criticism since she was a baby – and let’s not forget it was her mother who named her, not a self-made affectation.

Her fluctuating weight, panorama of tattoos and attempts to carve out a career as a journalist/broadcaster/ model with varying (but never copper-bottomed) success are all par for the course in most teenage and early twenties individuals. The rest of us make our cock-ups and madly ill informed attempts at maturity in the privacy of our own circles, rather than in the glare of the spotlight.

A woman whose mother died in distressing and difficult to understand circumstances when she was just 11 might be forgiven for wanting to start her own family.

Ms Geldof’s publicist’s statement contains the following sentence: “Peaches is utterly thrilled and they have the full support of both of their families who are equally excited for the baby’s arrival.”

There’s something sad that such an announcement feels the need to clarify that the prospective grandparents are happy about this state of affairs. Imagine the faux-concern with which people would otherwise be pitying poor Bob Geldof.

But contrast Peaches with Lily Allen, who through her fertility travails overcame our ennui with her career, and who now inspires sympathy... most recently because her own mother leaked her baby’s name yesterday (Ethel Mary, for the record). Ex-It Girl Nicole Richie also gets the “yummy mummy” label now.

I’m no great fan of any of them; but it’s not very edifying to sneer at Peaches’ mothering skills before the girl has even had a chance to be a mother. By all means, let’s suck our teeth and disapprove if she’s ever seen carting her baby round nightclubs with Sprite in its baby bottle.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Web Developer - Junior / Mid Weight

£15000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: To support their continued grow...

Recruitment Genius: Marketing Data Specialist

£22000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They are the go-to company for ...

Recruitment Genius: Search Marketing Specialist - PPC / SEO

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: This is an opportunity to join the UK's leadin...

Recruitment Genius: Sales Administrator

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: This caravan dealership are currently recruiti...

Day In a Page

John Noakes was everyone’s favourite presenter in the 1970s. It’s a shock to realise the eternal boy scout is now an octogenarian suffering from dementia  

How remarkable that John Noakes still has the power to affect me so

Matthew Norman
Greece debt crisis: What happened to democracy when it’s a case of 'Vote Yes or else'?

'The economic collapse has happened. What is at risk now is democracy...'

If it doesn’t work in Europe, how is it supposed to work in India or the Middle East, asks Robert Fisk
The science of swearing: What lies behind the use of four-letter words?

The science of swearing

What lies behind the use of four-letter words?
The Real Stories of Migrant Britain: Clive fled from Zimbabwe - now it won't have him back

The Real Stories of Migrant Britain

Clive fled from Zimbabwe - now it won’t have him back
Africa on the menu: Three foodie friends want to popularise dishes from the continent

Africa on the menu

Three foodie friends want to popularise dishes from the hot new continent
Donna Karan is stepping down after 30 years - so who will fill the DKNY creator's boots?

Who will fill Donna Karan's boots?

The designer is stepping down as Chief Designer of DKNY after 30 years. Alexander Fury looks back at the career of 'America's Chanel'
10 best statement lightbulbs

10 best statement lightbulbs

Dare to bare with some out-of-the-ordinary illumination
Wimbledon 2015: Heather Watson - 'I had Serena's poster on my wall – now I'm playing her'

Heather Watson: 'I had Serena's poster on my wall – now I'm playing her'

Briton pumped up for dream meeting with world No 1
Wimbledon 2015: Nick Bollettieri - It's time for big John Isner to produce the goods to go with his thumping serve

Nick Bollettieri's Wimbledon Files

It's time for big John Isner to produce the goods to go with his thumping serve
Dustin Brown: Who is the tennis player who knocked Rafael Nadal out of Wimbeldon 2015?

Dustin Brown

Who is the German player that knocked Nadal out of Wimbeldon 2015?
Ashes 2015: Damien Martyn - 'England are fired up again, just like in 2005...'

Damien Martyn: 'England are fired up again, just like in 2005...'

Australian veteran of that Ashes series, believes the hosts' may become unstoppable if they win the first Test
Tour de France 2015: Twins Simon and Adam Yates have a mountain to climb during Tour of duty

Twins have a mountain to climb during Tour of duty

Yates brothers will target the steepest sections in bid to win a stage in France
John Palmer: 'Goldfinger' of British crime was murdered, say police

Murder of the Brink’s-MAT mastermind

'Goldfinger' of British crime's life ended in a blaze of bullets, say police
Forget little green men - aliens will look like humans, says Cambridge University evolution expert

Forget little green men

Leading evolutionary biologist says aliens will look like humans
The Real Stories of Migrant Britain: An Algerian scientist adjusts to life working in a kebab shop

The Real Stories of Migrant Britain

An Algerian scientist struggles to adjust to her new life working in a Scottish kebab shop
Bodyworlds museum: Dr Gunther von Hagens has battled legal threats, Parkinson's disease, and the threat of bankruptcy

Dying dream of Doctor Death

Dr Gunther von Hagens has battled legal threats, Parkinson's disease, and the threat of bankruptcy