Ah, the irony. The Cannes Film Festival – promoter of any number of heist movies – was itself the scene of an audacious robbery yesterday. Indeed, it was on the very day of the screening of The Bling Ring (about a gang that burgles the rich and famous while they are strutting the red carpet) that thieves swiped €300,000 (£250,000) worth of jewellery that was to adorn Hollywood’s A-listers this glitzy weekend.
If Sofia Coppola’s on-the-spot tale of high-end pilfering is any kind of guide, French investigators should be hunting a gaggle of celebrity-obsessed teenagers. Too implausibly modern? Maybe the case is one for Inspector Clouseau instead. Suave British playboys with dubious reputations should be ignored, therefore, and the finger pointed squarely at the jewels’ owner.
Seeing as the gems belong to Chopard, rather than a dodgy princess of Lugash, however, perhaps the job is a less straightforward one. More likely, then, it was the work of a plucky London mobster who is, even now, dodging the Mafia as much as the law. There have not yet been any reports of gridlocked traffic, anarchic Minis driving on pavements, or a lorry see-sawing over a precipice on the Moyenne Corniche – but there’s still time.