I stopped a man from jumping off a bridge – and this is what I learnt

I was walking home across a bridge and a young man turned and asked me to hold his heavy leather coat. I asked him why and with little expression he said, ‘Because I am going to jump.

If someone asks me how I am and I feel and I feel miserable, I’ll tell them (AP)

When well-wishers greet us with a “Happy New Year” as we return back to our workplaces this week, I wonder how many of us are actually dreading 2017. Rather than feeling excited at the prospect of a new year, you feel empty. Rather than looking forward to a list of events and occasions that will mark the year, there is a blank calendar. It’s a fact that at this time of year, a high proportion of people are feeling suicidal.

I once saved a stranger’s life, on a bitterly cold, wet, November night. That night on the bridge will stay with me forever and has taught me that we all have times when we feel life is against us.

I was walking home across a bridge and a young man turned and asked me to hold his heavy leather coat. I asked him why and with little expression he said, “Because I am going to jump.” At that moment, he hastily climbed over the bridge and teetered on the metal parapet. He took off his shirt, looked down at the grey murky water, looked back at me and said, “This is it.” He didn’t jump at that moment, and I knew I needed to find out why this man thought death was his only way out.

I am not a trained psychologist, but I can listen and I was sure that this man wanted to be heard. I was only 22 at the time, the same age as the man in front of me crying out for help. I tried to find some positivity in his life. Sadly, he had a catalogue of set-back: he suffered from depression; his dad, who he loved dearly, had died; his girlfriend was pregnant and didn’t want to know him; he had argued with his mum; and lost his job. I understood why he felt so helpless. He had been in and out of prison and had scars on his arms from failed suicide attempts. He told me this time he wanted to be, “Third time lucky.”

I wanted to take him away from the desperation by talking about the best holiday he had ever had, he told me he loved Greece, so we both talked about the fantastic food, the blue seas and the warmth of the sun. We were both transported off to an imaginary Greek isle. Looking back, it was surreal because it was dark, we were freezing, soaked to the skin and divided by a steel barrier. He wanted to die; I wanted him to live.

The man in front of me was a stranger but I felt so connected to him, I tried desperately to keep the flow of conversation going, no matter how trivial, just as a distraction from the bleak reality. I told him, he could hopefully patch up the situation with his girlfriend and mum and look forward to being a dad. After two hours of talking to him, he decided to climb over to my side, the relief was huge. The police arrived and I will never forget the blue lights flashing on his face. He blew me a kiss and said, “Thank you.” I never saw him again.

I will always remember the man on the bridge. He has taught me to be open about my own feelings good and bad, if someone asks me how I am and I feel miserable, I’ll tell them. We mustn’t pretend all is well if it isn’t, otherwise we are perpetuating a myth. We are not happy all of the time and this is OK. It’s true that sharing a problem takes the pressure of dealing with it alone.

I may have changed this man’s life, but I wonder if he knows that he has changed my life too. I don’t know what happened to this man, I really hope his life is back on track and he is happy, but I’ll admit I am a little scared to find out.

I hope he is ok and he managed to patch things up with his family. I know that my time spent with him change my outlook forever. In 2017, it’s ok to be honest about your feelings for the new year ahead.

If anyone needs the help of the Samaritans, you can call free any time, from any phone on 116 123