Barometer

Goodbye Boys!

The end of the world is nigh. Or so they think in Japan, where the quatrains of Nostradamus are taken seriously and the fear is of a Third World War in July. Lingerie firm Triumph is cashing in with the "Armageddon bra" which features a sensor on the shoulder strap, and a control box to warn of objects falling from the skies. Cross your hearts.

Naked Gun

A man known to Pennsylvania police as "The Naked Bandit" has pleaded guilty to robbing convenience stores in the nude. Stanley Heiserman, a former marine, stole $400 from a mini-mart while naked, apart, that is, from a pair of underpants - which he was wearing on his head. The DA explains: "His logic was that the last time he did some robberies, he had clothes on and was identified by his clothes. It's nuts". Sure is, as I'm sure the victims of the starkers felon could testify.

Bum rap.

Marsupial wolf

The creature in the jar is the magnificent but sadly extinct Tasmanian tiger, or thylacine. Scientists believe that they have the Jurassic Park- style technology to bring it back. The remains of one of the last tigers were pickled in alcohol, from which DNA for cloning can be extracted (so raising some alarming questions about the possible resurrection of Ollie Reed). The experts tell us that the Tassie tiger, a bit smaller than a cat, could make an ideal pet. One for Rolf Harris, maybe.

Hot lips

Christine Hamilton became embroiled in a "kiss for questions" scandal when she was said to have "snogged" a student at an Oxford University Conservatives function. Misogynistic comment followed, absurdly excited by the notion that a 48-year-old woman could presume to kiss a 19-year- old man. OK, she is a married lady - although Neil, enjoying his own snog with a bottle of Scotch at the time, seems not to have minded. But there seems, in fact, to have been no game of "tonsil tennis". No tongues, darling. As Christine declared of her young friend Will Goodhand (yes, really): "It only lasted for one or two seconds. But if he regards that as a snog then he's got a lot to learn."

Image of the week

Edward Windsor and Sophie Rhys-Jones on a stamp to celebrate their wedding. A bit cheesy, though. Fancy a snog?