Sue Townsend dead: Adrian Mole's best quotes
The socially awkward teenager was Townsend's best-loved creation
Sue Townsend will best be remembered for her much-loved Adrian Mole diaries.
Her socially awkward and self-proclaimed 'intellectual' teenage creation has spawned one of the most successful book series of our time.
Townsend instilled wit and wisdom into her 13 ¾ year old protagonist, whose commentary ranged from class consciousness, the British political system, and -not forgetting - his undying love for neighbour Pandora Braithwaite.
His wit and wisdom have planted him fondly in the British imagination where he will doubtless live for decades more.
Townsend said her favourite Adrian Mole quote was the last line of the first diary, written after Mole had tried glue sniffing and accidentally stuck a model aeroplane to his nose: “I rang Pandora, she is coming round after her viola lesson. Love is the only thing that keeps me sane…”
Here we round-up some of the best lines from Your Humble and Obedient Servant, A Mole.
Adrian Mole's best quotes
1. “My skin is dead good. I think it must be a combination of being in love and Lucozade.”
2. “I have realised I have never seen a dead body or a real female nipple. This is what comes of living in a cul-de-sac.”
3. “I have a problem. I am an intellectual, but at the same time I am not very clever."
4. “I asked Pandora how long she would love me. She said, ‘As long as Britain has Gibraltar.’”
5. “Guilt is a destructive emotion and doesn’t fit in with my Life Plan.”
6. “I was racked with sexuality but it wore off when I helped my father put manure on our rose bed.”
7. “Mrs Thatcher has got eyes like a psychotic killer, but a voice like a gentle person. It is a bit confusing.”
8. “My mother is in the hospital grounds smoking a cigarette. She is looking old and haggard. All the debauchery is catching up with her.”
9. “Perhaps when I am famous and my diary is discovered people will understand the torment of being a 13 3/4 year old undiscovered intellectual.”
10. “The tap drips and keeps me awake/ In the morning there will be a lake” – one of the first poems written by Adrian Albert Mole, aged 13 ¾.
11. “Pandora smiled at me in school dinner today, but I was choking on a piece of gristle so I couldn't smile back. Just my luck!”
12. “Evelyn Waugh must be dead proud of his daughter, Auberon.”
13. “There's only one thing more boring than listening to other people's dreams, and that's listening to their problems.”
14. “My father was reading Playboy under cover of the candlelight and I was reading Hard Times by my key-ring torch.”
15. “After hearing the disgusting noises from downstairs last night, I have also vowed never to drink alcohol.”
Final Top Gear reviewTV
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Nathan Collier: Montana man inspired by same-sex marriage ruling requests right to wed two wives
- 2 People all over the world are getting semicolon tattoos to draw attention to mental health
- 3 Van driver who comforted Clark Carlisle and called 999 after suicide attempt dies age 24
- 4 James Blunt was special guest on the highest-rating Top Gear episode ever
- 5 The biggest first date turnoff has been revealed
Bad luck, One Direction: Paul McCartney doubts success of The Beatles will ever be matched again
This is surely the best way to watch Jaws
The Crystal Maze: Richard O’Brien confirmed to return as more details revealed about show's rebooted format
James Blunt was special guest on the highest-rating Top Gear episode ever
What if Nicolas Cage played every character in Game of Thrones?
Nathan Collier: Montana man inspired by same-sex marriage ruling requests right to wed two wives
Greece crisis: IMF was pushed around by Angela Merkel and Nicholas Sarkozy – and now it is being humiliated
'I wish the BBC would stop calling it Islamic State' – David Cameron unleashes frustration at broadcaster
Forget little green men – aliens will look like humans, says Cambridge University evolution expert
Girl, 7, stares down hate preacher at Ohio festival with pro-LGBT rainbow flag gesture
Sickness and disability benefits could be reduced by £30 a week as part of £12bn welfare cuts