Burning House £7.99
A Clockwork Apple, By Belinda Webb
Sunday 13 April 2008
When I first sees this book, I sphinx "What?" She's nicked Mr Burgess's idea, innit. But no, dear readerz, there is more to it dan dat, cause Alex is a GRRRL, and her argot is sans Slavonic influence but based on black urban vernacular wiv bitsa Latin, purloinings from Shakespeare and a few uvva daft coinages wot necessitate a paffetik glossary at the back.
Alex runs round Madchester wiv her gang of GRRRLZ terrorising the Blytons (aka da bourgeoisie). Plenty of violence, including some deadings. The like narrativity is punctuated by D'ya get me? and Alex's annoying cacchination of Hee hee haw haw. In between the fighty bits Alex finks forts about literature, life, the sophy of Philo and all that bollox...
Are you tiring of this? Me too. Let's just say Webb is a young writer looking for a voice. And a story. She has some linguistic inventiveness and maybe one day she'll write a good novel. This isn't it.
Final Top Gear reviewTV
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Michelle Watt's father says TV presenter killed herself because she was in constant pain
- 2 Nathan Collier: Montana man inspired by same-sex marriage ruling requests right to wed two wives
- 3 'Help me I'm trapped in a factory' messages keep being found on bottles of vitamin water
- 4 North Korean defector flees to Finland 'with evidence of chemical testing on humans'
- 5 Greek debt crisis: The photograph that conveys the despair of Greece's elderly
Bad luck, One Direction: Paul McCartney doubts success of The Beatles will ever be matched again
This is surely the best way to watch Jaws
Game of Thrones season 6: Daenerys actress Emilia Clarke says '50/50 chance' Jon Snow is alive
The last decade has produced just four UK festival headline acts
What if Nicolas Cage played every character in Game of Thrones?
Greece crisis: IMF was pushed around by Angela Merkel and Nicholas Sarkozy – and now it is being humiliated
Nathan Collier: Montana man inspired by same-sex marriage ruling requests right to wed two wives
Forget little green men – aliens will look like humans, says Cambridge University evolution expert
'I wish the BBC would stop calling it Islamic State' – David Cameron unleashes frustration at broadcaster
Greece crisis: The wider lesson is that it’s time to abandon this failed experiment in currencies
Girl, 7, stares down hate preacher at Ohio festival with pro-LGBT rainbow flag gesture