Anyway, I declined his offer of a false nose - wisely, because I happened to run into Di.
I remarked to her that I'd had it pretty well up to here with our old colleague. She said: 'Oh sure, everyone does.' She told me the PVC Dance Company wasn't working out so wonderfully either, and she was planning to 'branch out' - which could be worth thinking about. I asked what she meant. She replied: 'Well, you're always so good with artists.' I said I could be, if I had a free hand. She went on: 'But of course. And then I'm so good with the clients.'
I might have pursued this, but shortly afterwards I got the keen impression that we were going to be made to chant - something which I physically cannot do - so had to leave.
I returned to the office, to find Rory in consultation with a nun. 'Hey, Gordon - meet the new Sister Wendy.' He introduced me to Sister Frida Dugdale, who pressed my hand warmly. He said: 'Now watch this. Go on, do it for Gordon.' He handed me some fine art post cards, and asked me to pick one. I selected a perfectly innocuous Howard Hodgkin.
She took one look at it, and visibly shuddered. 'Oh my goodness. Oh dear me, what a business. Oh heavens. We simply want to cry out, don't we? Help] Help, help, help] We are in the presence of pure evil. We feel the artist has declared himself to be the personal enemy of God and His Love. And we may be sure that a special furnace is being stoked in the deepest pit of hell.' She turned to Rory, who gave her a thumbs up. I agreed it was certainly different.
She smiled: 'Well, one never likes to criticise a sister, but I do feel that Wendy's approach tends to be a little too celebratory.' Rory: 'Six-part TV series, tie-in book and vid - a personal journey through 20th century culture - Sister Frida's Inferno.' The nun: 'Now, are we going to the restaurant?'
As they were leaving, Rory called back: 'Incidentally, you know that comedian who used to be in the National Front? I think I've found one that's still a member. Post-alternative]'
As to what Di said, I'm beginning to think it could very well be worth thinking about.Reuse content