My Edinburgh: Angelos Epithemiou, comedian

I have only been to Edinburgh once before, and that was to deliver a fridge to my mate Kenny's mum. When we got there we found out she had moved back to London, so we dumped it in the river and drove home.

So I dunno, really. I'm going up there again this year but this time it won't be with a fridge. (Or Kenny, thank God, 'cause he goes on and on.) Instead, I will have a show to do. (Although I might buy a fridge when I'm up there or maybe get the one I dumped in the river, fish it out and take that home, but we'll see how it goes...)

So, with this show I'm doing, I got to do it at 10.40 at night when I presume everyone else will be asleep so God knows who is gonna see it. Apparently everyone goes to bed earlier in Edinburgh because of the time difference. Well, that's what Kenny told me, but we can't take too much notice of what Kenny says, 'cause, well, he takes heroin. Anyway, the show is a comedy show which means everyone gets to come and have a good laugh at me (which I'm not used to, so I dunno how I'll react).

What I'll probably do is have my dinner about 7.30 and then boil the kettle, then fill the bath with the water and jump in it and that'll take me up to about 8.30 or 9pm and then I'll get dressed and go over to the place where I'm doing it and hang around and do it and then go home.

I don't know what I'll do in the day, though. Maybe the same sort of thing although it will be breakfast and lunch I will be eating and not dinner... Anyway. See you up there. Maybe. I dunno.

Angelos Epithemiou and Friends, Pleasance Courtyard (0131 556 6550) to 20 August

Angelos Epithemiou's must-see

Adam Riches in 'Bring Me the Head of Adam Riches' (Pleasance Courtyard) and Krip Causley, but that's because he owes me money.