My worst moment in Edinburgh was when I got paid £20 to leave the stage at The Comedy Zone in the Pleasance. It was 2005 and I wasn't really suited to the rough-and-tumble of the room at weekends, where it was considered more "edgy" to down a pint of Stella with a vodka shot in the top than it was to talk about a squirrel biting my hand. Which is what I was doing at 11pm on a Saturday night. Once it had been decided by a Scottish man that the only way to get this over with was to pay me to go, a £20 note snaked its way down from the back and into my soon-to-be-tear-soaked hands before I went and spent all of it on whisky.
My best moment was two years later, doing my first solo show for the first time and feeling like I'd jumped out of a plane without a parachute. Everything can change in a heartbeat. We eat and drink paranoia, glory and chips, then go home and forget about it for another year. I like having a bit of time in the flat these days, watching DIY programmes and reading mind-numbing magazines. I don't go out every night like I used to, ending up at 4am worrying about the 40-minute mark of the show. If anything, I'll know how grout at the end of August at the very least.
Isy Suttie: Pearl and Dave, Pleasance Courtyard (0131 556 6550) to 29 Aug (not 15)
ISY SUTTIE'S MUST-SEE
Bridget Christie: Housewife Surrealist. Engrossing, idiosyncratic, and very funny. Some of this show is about her belief in God, which makes a refreshing change. Also, Elis James's Do You Remember The First Time? Elis is a fantastic, instantly engaging storyteller. I saw this show on the first day and it's brilliant.