Most of my memories of Edinburgh are related to food. After one hard show last year, I was flat and miserable and crying. My boyfriend popped into a chippy we were passing and bought me a bag of chips and two bars of dairy milk. There's a lesson to be learned from Scottish chippies that sell chocolate too.
At the awards do last year (when I won the if.comedy Best Newcomer award) I was whisked away to be interviewed while still holding an unopened carton of noodles; they were cold by the time I could eat them after I'd told countless journalists that I was using the prize money to pay off my car loan.
Because I don't really drink, I like to eat at late-night eateries. One of my favourites is Favorit, where one night I went with my friend Jo. It was 2am and she ordered muesli with a banana on. The staff member was apologetic and said, "I'm really sorry but we don't have any bananas left." I said, "Bring a knife, I've got one in my bag!"
When my flatmate and I first entered the flat last year, it was immediately clear that the cleaner hadn't bothered turning up. So, a quick pop to the shops later, armed with yellow rubber gloves and an assortment of cleaning products, we blasted the place. My friend opted out of doing the bathroom, so I put on my yellow gauntlets. We rewarded ourselves with a feast at Monster Mash.
I once bumped into my flatmate in the Pleasance Courtyard and asked her if she'd eaten yet (I'm annoyingly maternal for someone who hates kids). She said she'd had a hotdog and a gin and tonic. She seemed to think that was adequate. I plied her with microwaveable dinners.
I stave off a cold by taking Vitamin C crystals (how I'd imagine Space Dust was if my mam ever let me have it) and eating goji berries. I am too working class to know about goji berries, so let's call them grapes.
'Typical Woman', Pleasance Courtyard, to 30 August (0131-556 6550)Reuse content