Tuesday 22 September 1998
Paul Duell suggests the happy Rave (Rarely Adventurous,Vital or Exciting) Party, attracting both youth and age votes. Magzy Higgs likes The New "Labour" Party, The "New" Party or perhaps The Nearly New Party. Sorry, Magzy, but I think you'll find all three have been copyrighted by one P Mandelson for future use. Andrew Duncan had more than mere nominal advice: "Let's replace [Conservative] with some Blair-like cool, With zap yet trad to bring in those who play pool... Stunning, stirring anthem - words by Rice, music by Lord Lloyd Webber - very nice, Give a hint (consult manifesto) of the good time to come, To young Janet, John, Mum, Dad, vicar and nun..." But sorry, Andrew. Do you really think anyone's going to swallow the Humanity Party?
Fiona and John Earle suggest The Innermost Circle "because they have been going round in ever-decreasing circles for years and have got there". John O'Byrne wins a dictionary for "The New Millennium Progressive Conservative Party", whose New Ageyness perfectly illustrates party interests that lag several years behind those of the electorate. Duncan Bull says "Mr Major famously called his euro-sceptic cabinet `colleagues' something rather rude. Now the shadow cabinet consists of EMU-doomsters, Mr Major should be honoured by renaming the Tory party `The Bastards'. Or, to be politically correct, The Right Bastards." A copy of Chambers on its way to you.
Next week: thanks to Bruce Birchall for the following; This is the time of year when evening classes offer exotic prospects like Glassblowing for Beginners or Speak Swahili in Six Weeks. Who signs up for these things, and why? What learning experiences are not catered for in the prospectuses, and who might they suit? Suggestions to Creativity, The Independent, 18th floor, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL. The top two, or three, depending on whether anyone has won one for suggesting the week's theme, will win a Chambers dictionary. Results two weeks from today.
Review: Imaginative storytelling returns with vigourfilm
Bannatyne leaves Dragon's DenTV
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Game of Thrones author George RR Martin says 'f*** you' to fans who fear he will die before finishing Westeros saga
- 2 Loom bands: Bids for dress made from colourful rubber reach almost £154,000 on eBay
- 3 PornHub begs users to stop uploading video clips of Brazil getting beaten 7-1
- 4 Why I'm on the brink of burning my Israeli passport
- 5 L'Oreal cuts ties with Belgium supporter Axelle Despiegelaere after hunting trip photographs
Sustained immigration has not harmed Britons' employment, say government advisers
Australia facing international condemnation after turning around Sri Lankans at sea
7/7 memorial defaced on anniversary of 2005 attacks with ‘Blair lied thousands died’ graffiti
Even when it brutalises one of its own teenage citizens, America is helpless against Israel
Socialist Worker called to apologise over ‘vile’ article saying Eton schoolboy Horatio Chapple's death is ‘reason to save the polar bears’
War is war: Why I stand with Israel