Tuesday 22 September 1998
Paul Duell suggests the happy Rave (Rarely Adventurous,Vital or Exciting) Party, attracting both youth and age votes. Magzy Higgs likes The New "Labour" Party, The "New" Party or perhaps The Nearly New Party. Sorry, Magzy, but I think you'll find all three have been copyrighted by one P Mandelson for future use. Andrew Duncan had more than mere nominal advice: "Let's replace [Conservative] with some Blair-like cool, With zap yet trad to bring in those who play pool... Stunning, stirring anthem - words by Rice, music by Lord Lloyd Webber - very nice, Give a hint (consult manifesto) of the good time to come, To young Janet, John, Mum, Dad, vicar and nun..." But sorry, Andrew. Do you really think anyone's going to swallow the Humanity Party?
Fiona and John Earle suggest The Innermost Circle "because they have been going round in ever-decreasing circles for years and have got there". John O'Byrne wins a dictionary for "The New Millennium Progressive Conservative Party", whose New Ageyness perfectly illustrates party interests that lag several years behind those of the electorate. Duncan Bull says "Mr Major famously called his euro-sceptic cabinet `colleagues' something rather rude. Now the shadow cabinet consists of EMU-doomsters, Mr Major should be honoured by renaming the Tory party `The Bastards'. Or, to be politically correct, The Right Bastards." A copy of Chambers on its way to you.
Next week: thanks to Bruce Birchall for the following; This is the time of year when evening classes offer exotic prospects like Glassblowing for Beginners or Speak Swahili in Six Weeks. Who signs up for these things, and why? What learning experiences are not catered for in the prospectuses, and who might they suit? Suggestions to Creativity, The Independent, 18th floor, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL. The top two, or three, depending on whether anyone has won one for suggesting the week's theme, will win a Chambers dictionary. Results two weeks from today.
Is the comedy album making a comeback?comedy
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Sabina Altynbekova, the girl branded 'too good looking' for volleyball, says social media obsession with her is a 'bit much'
- 2 Disney heiress Abigail disowns her share of family profits in West Bank company
- 3 The secret report that helps Israel hide facts
- 4 'Women should not laugh in public,' says Turkey's Deputy Prime Minister in morality speech
- 5 Israel's propaganda machine is finally starting to misfire
The secret report that helps Israel hide facts
Woman and two children killed by mob in riots over 'blasphemous' Facebook post in Pakistan
A day in the life of Vladimir Putin: The dictator in his labyrinth
Putin is 'thuggish, dishonest and reckless', says British ambassador to US
Richard Dawkins tweets: 'Date rape is bad, stranger rape is worse'
Boozy, ignorant, intolerant, but very polite – Britain as others see us
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