Creativity: No peace for the wicked

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The Independent Culture
SYMPATHY for those who have suffered and bitterness at Western inability to intervene effectively dominated responses to our request for uses for the Vance-Owen Peace Plan.

'It should be torn into shreds and used as paper handkerchiefs for drying tears,' writes John March. 'Recycle into paper coffins,' suggests David Hill, or use as 'ticker-tape for Serbian victory parade'.

Sue Rowlands proposes distributing it to refugee camps as lavatory paper (an idea developed by many readers), while Pauline Radley points out: 'Even if it was burnt, it would not create enough warmth for the surviving Muslims.' She suggests it might 'hang in the Tate, streaked with blood and riddled with bullet-holes'.

Some believe it could still fulfil its original purpose. Henri Cash turns the pages into paper darts to be thrown by the leading belligerents. Where they land on a map of the area provides the basis for a settlement.

Recycling was another popular theme. Stephen Tilley believes it could be used to partition England among the upper, middle and lower classes. Others suggested sending it to Iraq, Kuwait and the Kurds. Lindsay Warden saw it as the basis for a 'lean, sleek, efficient and entirely patient- free' reconstruction of the NHS.

Jack Muirhead thought it might be rolled up tight and used to 'knock the heads together of the opposing factions, until they see sense' or more simply 'for propping up an uneven table leg at the conference'.

Other ideas included papier-mache models of Neville Chamberlain (James Wild), a training resource for cartographers (Sir Harold Walker), or for the Speaker to throw at rowdy MPs (Daniel Wilson). Most appropriate of all was David Hill's 'to paper over cracks in the New World Order'.

This week's object is a tennis racket. Ideas for things Britons might do with this object will be wecomed at: Creativity, The Independent, 40 City Road, London EC1Y 2DB.