e-mail > female

oh god i'm dead! emma once told me martina did kik boxing as a hobby what am i goin to do? helpppppppp!

From annahowe@richarsons. com

i am in an extremely bad mood. the weather has been so lovely but w/end completely ruined by cup final.

From ClarissaH@greatestates. co.uk

do not know what u are complaining about. all streets beautifully quiet on saturday afternoon, no men cluttering up tescos, shop and have civilised gin and tonic in peace.

From annahowe

well it all wd have been fine if newcastle had won. meant whole of sat evening in mourning. david absolutely distraught. "but tony supports newcastle and tony always wins," he kept on repeating. "maybe it's all going wrong," i said after the tenth time: "sierra leone and now the cup final. maybe he's losing his touch." wrong move to make as he decided it was time to get in touch with his masculine side and disappeared off to the pub for hours leavin me to have sat night all alone.

From ClarissaH

u shd have come round to see us. christina banned football from the flat and made her trustafarian make pimms (he's very good at it, obviously some benefits to privileged background), jon has got a new band which he played and it sounded half decent. then we all crammed on 2 the roof terrace but was so small that in the end we had to take in turns. o the bliss of summer in london!

From annahowe

god i hate u sometimes. wot about work?

From ClarissaH

apart from usual trauma of what to wear to work in summer (most of summer clothes completely inappropriate to wear: too short, too see-thru, too girly) if u mean hated bossman solmes and his affair with martina have been too chicken to mention it to either of them.

From annahowe

well do u have to?

From ClarissaH

no i suppose it wd just get me into trouble. but if they find out i know then it'll be ten times worse i'll be in real trubble.

From annahowe

cmon clarissa be a woman of the nineties: tell solmes u want a payrise or u'll blab.

From ClarissaH

that's blackmail

From annahowe

that's life....

From ClarissaH

no i'm just keeping out of it. can't look either of them in the eye and am avoiding speaking to both. no doubt it will all turn pearshaped anyway. have decided to take robin cook approach and say that i cannot remember when i was first made aware of the information if anyone asks me. but i am dying to tell someone. is so difficult to know wht 2 do....

From annahowe

but u've told me...

From ClarissaH

yes but i keep on wanting to tell emma or someone else in the office just becos it's the first time in a long time that i've had an amazing bit of gossip to myself first. keep on having to bite my tongue specially when emma said to me yesterday "don't u think martina's looking tired lately?" had to run out of the smoking room before i told her.

From annahowe

well tell christina and jon then...

From ClarissaH

actually i have. we had a flatmate's conference. jon said that if solmes was as disgusting as he remembered we shd club together to send martina to counselling. christina said she'd met martina and solmes needed counselling. trustafarian said he knew solmes wife and martina wd need extensive facial reconstruction if solmes wife caught up with her.

From annahowe

look just put it out of yr mind. have u decided what u're wearing to yr granny's this wkend.

From ClarissaH

a nice flowery dress yuk yuk yuk. jim rang up last night asking for either a lift down there or the train fare as he had to pay his college bar bill. when i refused he started saying he was under great stress becos of his exams and if he failed it wd be all my fault. i pointed out acidly if he'd done some work during the year then he wdn't be so stressed.

From annahowe

o don't be mean...

From ClarissaH

let him stew for five mins and rang him back to offer money, only to find he'd rung up mum wailed on her and she was sending a cheque..why did i never do that as a student?

From annahowe

yes u did! u just have selective memory.

From ClarissaH

o god o god, i'm dead. martina has just come up to me: "u live with a girl i went to school with don't u?" she said fiercely.

"um christina?" i said.

"yeah i bumped into her in pret a manger this lunch time. becos of that i want a word with u. be in the smoking room in five mins or else." she snarled.

i've suddenly remembered emma once telling me martina did kick boxing as a hobby. Help!

From annahowe

clarissa. r u there? clarissa. spk to me plse.

clarissa!