FILM / Carrying on at their convenience

Carry on Columbus (PG). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gerald Thomas (UK)

City of Joy (12). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Roland Joffe (UK / Fr)

Gas Food Lodging (15). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Alison Anders (US)

Don't Move, Die and Rise Again (no cert). . . . .Vitaly Kanevski (Russia)

Lilith (18). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Robert Rossen (US)

By a sweet twist of fate, the film that Carry On Columbus unseats today in the West End is the Salkind Brothers' overblown Christopher Columbus: The Discovery. The 13th Carry On and the first for 14 years continues a long, glorious tradition of lampoon - Ridley Scott's 1492 now looms on the horizon, another fat, epic Aunt Sally. There are moments when it works well: whereas, for instance, the two other fictional Columbuses stumble on naive Indians, sullying their paradise, the spoof neatly upturns the cliche. Its tribesmen are street-wise, cigar-chomping New Yorkers: 'Not another mime troupe]' they sigh as Chris signs to them frantically, before bilking the newcomers out of all their possessions.

This could have been a classic Carry On. It takes the standard series formula of a boisterous crowd of people away from home and out of their element - what else, after all, is the voyage of the Santa Maria but a glorified charabanc outing? The film certainly looks the part, complete with neo-Fifties poster, old-fashioned, high-key lighting and outrageously under-furnished studio sets. And so it should: the director, Gerald Thomas, presided over decades of cut-price tomfoolery. While Scott and the Salkinds sailed to the West Indies for their no-expenses-spared rival versions, he decks out his paradise with what looks very much like a job lot of pot palms from Marks & Spencer. All this is very gratifying to the die-hard fan.

But, screened to a large-ish audience - and not just curmudgeonly film critics - earlier this week, most of Carry on Columbus raised nary a titter. What on earth went wrong? A large part of the blame goes to the third-rate script: the best Carry Ons revel in the inventiveness (or rather, the awful predictablity) of their puns - their verbal agility and the infinite lewdness of language. Here, there are a couple of memorable exchanges ('What makes you think he's up to it?' 'I've seen his testimonials]'), but most of the entendres are distressingly singular. One wonders briefly whether the vintage films were really so much superior, or whether they've become embalmed in nostalgia, but anyone who caught Up the Khyber - one of the best of the series - on the box last night will have no doubts.

The casting is a worry too. Sid James, Hattie Jacques and many of the well-loved familiars are dead, though several notable survivors - Barbara Windsor, Bernard Bresslaw - passed on the chance to appear here. Jim Dale is on board as Chris - on the cusp between the fresh-faced male leads of earlier films and incipient, Jamesian randy-old-goathood. But most of the crew are culled from the ranks of the younger, 'alternative' comics.

Throughout the series Sid was indelibly Sid, be he playing Henry VIII or Sidney Fiddler. Many of the new boys, as if anxious not to shine too brightly, submerge their off-screen personae - Rik Mayall is properly petulant as the Sultan of Turkey and Alexei Sayle an enjoyable wide boy, but Nigel Planer, Tony Slattery and Peter Richardson are barely recognisable. Even Julian Clary is a gentle, dreamy creature, much subdued from Sticky Moments and several registers below Kenneth Williams' and Charles Hawtrey's ravening queens.

The main trouble is that the film appears in isolation. The Carry Ons were always part of a dying, but still-present tradition of pop-prole culture - McGill postcards, music hall sauciness, end-of-the-pier shows and Blackpool rock - and, above all, the other Carry On films. But that world has changed beyond recognition. Columbus ought to split its trousers with cor-blimey coarseness but instead is an enervated museum piece; it doesn't even capitalise on the series' abiding ability to shock - by its rampant male piggery and political incorrectness. Could it be - dreadful thought] - that the Carry Ons are getting gentrified?

City of Joy is imbued with worthiness in spades: in it the writer- director Roland Joffe returns to his favourite theme, the clash of First and Third Worlds (it forms a loose trilogy with The Killing Fields and The Mission). A disillusioned doctor (Patrick Swayze) goes to India in search of inner serenity. As he steps into the cesspool, another newcomer arrives: Om Puri, a villager, and his family. Swayze surveys his navel and bathes in self-pity; Puri struggles bitterly for sheer survival.

Joffe is a confident, visual director - the crowded street scenes teem with life, Puri's rickshaw weaving madly through the traffic. The patrician English director suffered much-publicised attacks by Calcuttans, who felt he was maligning and patronising their city. There's some truth in that, but he also captures its energy and spirit. And, having cast a bankable romantic lead, he respects him and his audience enough not to lumber him with specious love interest.

But Swayze is still a problem, partly because his role is so underwritten, partly because he's an intensely physical actor: as he strolls around with a cigar and a swagger, it's hard to believe in his private torment. And the screenplay is terminal: lines like 'from the moment we're born, we're shipwrecked, struggling between hope and despair' come from the bottom of the cracker-barrel. In a no-nonsense comedy like Ghost, you accept (just about) these simplicities. In a serious, ambitious film, they're insulting.

More tales of poverty and endeavour: Gas Food Lodging, a likeable but unremarkable drama about a single mother trying to raise her two teenage daughters in a New Mexico trailer park. Don't Move, Die and Rise Again, in which a small boy barely survives in a desolate mining town in Central Asia, has lovely individual sequences but is marred by a jerky, incoherent narration. Best of the week is a revival from 1964, Lilith, the last film by Robert Rossen (who made The Hustler). Warren Beatty drifts into a job at a mental asylum and falls for Jean Seberg's seductive but promiscuous and disturbed schizophrenic. This is a wonderfully, even (despite the subject) exhilaratingly bold film, as subtle an exploration of sanity and sexuality as has ever been seen on screen.

See facing page for details.

Independent Comment
blog comments powered by Disqus
News in pictures
World news in pictures
Arts & Ents blogs

Friday Book Design Blog: Blurb special

Let's talk book blurbs, those quotes you get, usually from other writers, that are meant to entice y...

Something For The Weekend in London: May 17-19

Fela Kuti, Jewish food and The Great Gatsby are just some of the reasons why the rainy weather ahead...

SPOT festival: Bob Dylan, TopShop, and René Descartes

Sat in a hotel lobby amidst a music conference in Aarhus around 4am in is a great way to argue, and ...

       
Independent
Travel Shop
South Africa
15 nights from only £1,899pp Find out more
Paris and the Cote d’Azur city break
Seven nights from £579pp Find out more
Seville, Granada and Malaga break
Seven nights from £549pp Find out more

ES Rentals

    The price of pacifism: Refusing to go to war is finally being recognised as a brave act

    The price of pacifism

    From the Second World War refusenik to the 19-year-old Israeli, Holly Williams talks to five people who risked shame and suffering to take a stand as conscientious objector.
    'It was mass hysteria': Jason Isaacs on groupies, theatre bores and snogging James Bond

    Jason Isaacs: Groupies, theatre bores and James Bond

    To millions, Jason Isaacs is one of Harry Potter's arch enemies – but his wife prefers him as a Scottish TV detective.
    Notes from a small island: Is Sealand an independent 'micronation' or an illegal fortress?

    Sealand: 'Micronation' or illegal fortress?

    Thomas Hodgkinson spent a week at the tiny platform off the Suffolk coast to find out.
    Not a bad bone: Mark Hix cooks with cutlets and ribs

    Mark Hix cooks with cutlets and ribs

    If you ignore cutlets and ribs, you'll risk missing out on some delicious and easy meals, says our chef.
    Sir James Dyson’s latest project: Cleaning up hospitals

    Sir James Dyson’s latest project: Cleaning up hospitals

    Doctors are hailing the revamp of a Bath neonatal unit, where babies sleep more and feed better, as the model for patient care
    One man returns to Argentina's town that drowned

    One man returns to Argentina's town that drowned

    Epecuen was submerged under 10 metres of water in 1985. Now the floods have gone – and 83-year-old Pablo Novak has moved back in
    The real thing? Historian publishes Coca Cola's 'secret formula'

    The real thing?

    Historian publishes Coca Cola's 'secret formula'
    Gordon Ramsey's worst nightmare: A restaurant he cannot save

    Gordon Ramsay's worst nightmare: A restaurant he cannot save

    The pugnacious chef finally met a shambolic restaurant he couldn't save. John Walsh on when TV makover refuseniks fight back
    Join Ryanair! See the world! But we're only paying you for nine months a year

    Join Ryanair! See the world! But we're only paying you for nine months a year

    Glamorous myth of the flight attendant lifestyle undermined by angry employee's claims of 'exploitation'
    Braising saddles: Did the recent furore scupper sales of horse meat? Neigh, far from it!

    Braising saddles: How to cook horse meat

    Did the recent furore scupper sales of horse meat? Neigh, far from it! Will Coldwell hoofs it to the kitchen.
    Why bitters are back on the bar: A few little drops pack a big punch in cocktails

    Why bitters are back on the bar

    A few little drops pack a big punch in cocktails. No wonder we're learning to love them again...
    The 10 Best barbecues

    The 10 Best barbecues

    Whether you're cooking on gas or are a convert to charcoal we've got the perfect way to cook when the sun is out.
    Style icon David Beckham calls time on his long retirement

    Style icon calls time on his long retirement

    David Beckham never disgraced himself but former England captain ceased to be a major player years ago. Remember him at his United peak
    Steve Harper: My darkest times

    Steve Harper: My darkest times

    As the popular Newcastle goalkeeper bows out after 20 years at the club, he tells Martin Hardy about the private battle with depression that threatened his career
    Sir Torquil Norman has designed a flat-pack OX truck for the developing world

    The flat-pack truck with big ambitions

    After making a fortune from Polly Pocket and a doll's house shaped like a teapot, the entrepreneur has turned his creativity to a transporter truck for the developing world. Simon Usborne meets him.