Film: Trailer Trash

EVER WONDERED how you reconstitute the Bridget Jones attitude for an audience of 13-year-old girls? A perky young thing strikes a confessional pose, head and shoulders in shot, and burbles straight to camera: "I've got 18 pairs of knickers, 14 pairs of shoes. I'm a vegetarian (sort of). And I'm a virgin."

The trailer for Virtual Sexuality spells it out: Justine wants to lose her cherry, but not to smooth Alex or nerdy Chaz. Most important of all, she refuses to resort to the plunging necklines and rising hems of her pneumatic blonde rival, Hoover. "If only blokes had bar codes," whines Justine. So she knocks up her ideal man on a computer (a blonde, boy-band clone) and he miraculously comes to life.

What lingers depressingly here is the discrepancy between the Saturday- morning-kids'-telly manner and the supposedly adult dilemma this trailer foists on its Boyzone-worshipping audience - how to get laid and keep your pride.

Justine's black soul mate, the comic-book special-effects embellishments, the "poor me" neuroticism - this trailer plays out like a sci-fi Ally McBeal episode produced by the Why Don't You gang.

`Virtual Sexuality' is released 2 July