DVD: Burlesque (12)
Friday 29 April 2011
In Joseph Heller's Catch-22, one of the doomed pilots reads long, interminable books, reasoning it will prolong his life. Burlesque and The Green Hornet (see above) would have worked just as well.
Pushy Ali Rose (Christina Aguilera) is grimly determined to escape waitressing in Iowa ("Soon as I get my cheque, I'm gone," she chirps) and follow the yellow-brick road to the stripping wizard (that'll be Cher) at a shabby burlesque joint in LA. Once there, she warbles her way to sleazy stardom. This doesn't even have the decency to be camp, funny or erotic.
Music Why this music festival is still the place to spot the next big thing
Film review Michael Glatze biopic isn't about a self-hating gay man gone straight
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 East 17 bandmember Brian Harvey in 'very desperate situation’
- 2 Is this bridge haunted by the ghost of nu rave?
- 3 Woman filmed launching racist tirade against men on the Tube for speaking in 'own lingo'
- 4 The West has it totally wrong on Lee Kuan Yew
- 5 Scientists have discovered a simple way to cook rice that dramatically cuts the calories
Britain's first cinema flickers back to life following £6m refurbishment
A historian gave the most British look of despair when someone screwed up Richard III's birthday at his reburial
James May hints Top Gear days are over following Jeremy Clarkson's BBC exit
Fifty Shades of Grey movie shows first sex scene 'after 40 minutes'
James May hints he will not continue on Top Gear without Jeremy Clarkson
Ukip supporters are 55 or older, white and socially conservative, finds British Social Attitudes Report
JK Rowling responds to fan tweeting she 'can't see' Dumbledore being gay
Jeremy Clarkson sacked live: Alan Yentob 'wouldn't rule out' ex Top Gear host's BBC return
David Cameron calls Labour 'hopeless, sneering socialists' while announcing 7-day NHS plans
The West has it totally wrong on Lee Kuan Yew
Revealed: Putin's army of pro-Kremlin bloggers