DVD: The Spy Next Door (PG)

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The Independent Culture

"You make me laugh," Amber Valetta's Gillian tells Bob, Jackie Chan's prim pen salesman. Only Bob's really an international spy and he's not funny in the slightest.

And neither is this dreary effort. Chan's shtick, of course, is to leap a lot and chop down rogues. But, aged 55, there's precious little chopping and leaping going on in this tired children's caper. Bob's on the verge of retiring from the spy game (of course he is) and wants to settle down with Gillian. The snag is that her three moppets hate him – they think he's "a drone". When, somewhat irresponsibly, Gillian sods off to look after her sick dad, she leaves her brats with Bob and they (very slowly) learn the truth.