Footloose (12A)

Starring: Kenny Wormald, Dennis Quaid

Was a remake of this 1984 musical really the answer to anyone's prayer?

Kenny Wormald replaces the original's Kevin Bacon as Ren, the clean-cut city kid who arrives in a small Southern town where they do things differently. Some years back five high-school kids were killed in a car accident coming home from raucous night out, after which the bereaved Reverend Dennis Quaid and the town council decreed that "loud music and public dancing" be outlawed – forever! Ren, of course, challenges the ban, and falls in love with the Rev's foxy daughter (Julianne Hough) for good measure. A moment's thought will expose the utter wrongheadedness of the film's premise: would it not make more sense for the council to ban teenage drivers rather than dancing and music? Or else reduce the speed limit on local roads? The patent absurdity would be forgotten or at least forgiven if the songs and the moves were any good, but aside from the title track it's a sorry farrago of blandness.