Piranha 3D, Alexandre Aja, 88 mins, (18)

Starring Adam Scott, Elisabeth Shue, Kelly Brook
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Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water... Jaws is very much the daddy of this thriller, from the ominous camera sharking through the ocean murk (you can almost hear the John Williams score) to the shrieking terrors of a beach community suddenly under attack.

It even features Richard Dreyfuss as the first victim of the razor-toothed piranhas, allegedly a prehistoric breed released by an underwater tremor in Lake Victoria – the fish, that is, not Dreyfuss. Steven McQueen plays the teenage misfit who gets hired as a location scout on a porn shoot – a schoolboy's dream, I suppose, especially with our own Kelly Brook starring as one half of a girl-on-girl underwater ballet. Elisabeth Shue plays the local sheriff and mother of the errant teenager, whose dream job inevitably turns to nightmare once the porno love boat becomes the centre of a piranha feeding frenzy. "There are thousands of 'em – and they're pissed!" cries one horrified onlooker. It's silly but not unwatchable, and has the nous not to take itself too seriously: the piranha "expert", for one thing, is played by Christopher Lloyd, pop-eyed and bathrobed, while Jerry O'Connell touches comical fathoms of scuzziness as the porn director.