Sky Kids: All The Time In The World (PG)

Starring: Jessica Alba, Rowan Blanchard
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The Independent Culture

The mind boggles before being lulled into a stupor of inanition by this latest instalment of Robert Rodriguez's increasingly cheap-looking franchise.

Jessica Alba is a world-class superspy but can't bond with her snitty pubescent daughter, whose taste for practical jokes and whiny sense of entitlement ought to earn her a slap – alas, it never comes. Jeremy Piven plays a megalomaniac who purposes to "steal time" from the world so that he can – er – bond with his dead father? Pointless trying to make sense of its cretinous plotting, but perhaps savour the irony of a film about stolen time that robs 89 precious minutes of your own.