Valentine's Day (NC)
At first sight Garry Marshall's all-star ensemble looks to be a Short Cuts-lite – Short Cutlets, if you will – until it establishes its tone of flabby sentimentality and you realise it's more like an LA version of Love, Actually. There's even a sickeningly precocious kid who declares his love to an adult.
Try to hang on to your lunch. Set over a single Valentine's day, it forms loose interconnections between people you couldn't care less about – Jessica Biel and Jamie Foxx as sports agent and reporter are the most dismal, Anne Hathaway as a phone-sex worker is the most annoying, Eric Dane as a gay football star is the most wooden – and then spins them out to excruciating length. Bradley Cooper and Julia Roberts almost alone emerge in credit with a flirty little encounter on a plane, but even they are let down by Katherine Fugate's insufferably twee script.
Subscribe to Independent Premium to bookmark this article
Want to bookmark your favourite articles and stories to read or reference later? Start your Independent Premium subscription today.
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies