Lyric sheets: The Hyde Park refresher course '96

THE HYDE PARK REFRESHER COURSE '96

Those of you who suffer from shot memories

Here are some useful pointers for you all:

Paisley is passe but granny glasses

May be necessary as you sprawl

Dimmed in middle age

Miles from the stage

Toilets? Well there have been some improvements

Gone the planks and trenches of before

Gone the cheery menace of Hell's Angels

And the idiot dancers are no more

But expect long queues

For the Portaloos

Quadrophenia's opera-style surtitles

Will ensure you comprehend each word

Veterans of the Sixties will ignore them

Rock's essential message should be blurred

Must be true because

Wasn't it in Oz?

Most of those on stage, you will have heard of

Maybe not Alanis Morissette

No, she's not a French-Canadian sports car

Or a type of foreign cigarette

Nor a small machine

Run on kerosene

Those who feel like breaking down the fences

Or are fit enough to scale a tree

Should remember; police now are much younger

And much faster than they used to be

Can't outrun a lawman

Over 44, man