MUSIC / On Tour: Roy Motion

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I have done quite a few festivals this year, all quite different. First was Colchester, where I did a terrific gig at the arts centre. I was described by the local press as the Tony Blair of comedy, 'a man ready to assume the leadership of his profession'. Then I did Penzance and Glastonbury. My car is in the process of dying, so I went by train. I'm not one who goes gig, gig, gig - I like to have a couple of days to cool out. I'll normally stay with relatives or friends and try and get a game of football in or swimming, something to counteract the main activities of tension and drinking too much. I like to get to know an area, not just whack in, do the gig, and whack out. I do a spoof about Dillons wherever I go and I really like to be able to tailor it to the local audience.

Anywhere tends to be more relaxed than London, which is fairly gladiatorial. I'm into damage limitation these days. I did a gig at Jongleurs in Clapham about five years ago and at some point a bunch of polyester psychos came in. It was like playing to the Stretford End. They started football chanting, and I decided that I would go.

There wasn't anything like that in Glastonbury. There, people were so wasted that the front row were just flat on their backs, they had no energy to heckle viciously. Penzance was all very bohemian. There was a cat on stage during the performance who walked off when I said I was going to read poetry, and an injured jackdaw, which had been rescued, in the dressing room.

Rory Motion, the singing vegan, performs at the Edinburgh Festival, The Mad Abbot (Venue 84), Week 1 (031-447 8811)