Eurovision 2014: Britain's most embarrassing entries...and a few of our best
From the glory of Katrina and the Waves to the 'nil points' horror of Jemini
It might be a joke to many of us that the UK are destined for disappointment in the Eurovision Song Contest, but the country is, surprisingly, one of the most successful competitors.
The UK has won five times since 1959 and, along with Sweden, is the only nation to triumph in four separate decades. We were runners-up on a record 15 occasions.
Unfortunately after the rule that songs must be performed in one of the participating country’s official languages was abolished in 1999, the UK has only finished in the top ten twice (Jessica Garlick came third in 2002 and Jade Ewen, fifth, in 2009).
We have also come last, starting with that infamous 2003 "nul points" nightmare (cheers, Jemini), as well as ending rock bottom in 2008 and 2010.
Past high profile UK entrants have included boyband Blue, power vocalist Bonnie Tyler and veteran star Engelbert Humperdinck, but who have been the best and worst British hopefuls of all-time?
The best of British...
"Love Shine A Light" - Katrina and the Waves
This feel-good number triumphed in Dublin in 1997 with a record score of 227 points, giving the pop group their biggest hit since "Walking On Sunshine". "It had 'I'm a winner' written all over it," said Katrina Leskanich, modestly.
"Puppet On A String" - Sandie Shaw
Sandie Shaw was the first to bring home the trophy for the UK in 1967 with 47 points. She performed the winning song barefoot because frankly who needs shoes when you're a Eurovision champion?
"Boom Bang-a-Bang" - Lulu
It was just two years until the next UK victory when Lulu triumphed in 1969 with 18 points. She came joint with France, Spain and the Netherlands...but she won. Monty Python later parodied the song with "Bing Tiddle-Tiddle Bong".
"Save Your Kisses For Me" - Brotherhood of Man
After an eight-year post-Lulu slump, this pop quartet emerged to pull the UK back to the top spot with a massive 164 points. "Save Your Kisses For Me" became a worldwide hit that remains the biggest-selling Eurovision winner ever.
"Making Your Mind Up" - Bucks Fizz
This fun foursome were the last to take the UK to Eurovision success in 1981. Bucks Fizz had formed just two months before the contest in Dublin and this was their debut single. The group notched up 136 points and are one of the most-loved acts of all-time.
...and the acts we'd rather forget
"Cry Baby" - Jemini
The less said about the shocker that was Eurovision 2003 the better. No, honestly, the UK was the only country to receive a big fat zero and it's still our only 'nil points' song. Someone even vandalised Jemini's dressing room, they hated the performance that much.
"Even If" - Andy Abraham
Poor Andy, this was a damn good effort in 2008, but for some reason Europe didn't buy it. The X Factor runner-up and former refuse collector finished joint last in Serbia with 14 points. All of a sudden he was the second worst UK act ever - not fair.
"That Sounds Good To Me" – Josh Dubovie
"You bring the sunshine, I'll bring the good times, it's happy ever after". Or not in Josh’s case - he left Norway in 2010 with just 10 points. If you can't tell by his off-key performance, he came last, and critics called him "ubernaff".
"Love Will Set You Free" – Engelbert Humperdinck
To give The Hump his due, you couldn't fault his vocals. The crooner was 76 when he performed in Azerbaijan to take 12 points and finish just short of last. Many fans blamed his 2012 failure on the fact that the UK was the first country to perform.
"Flying The Flag (For You)" - Scooch
For some unbeknown reason, Scooch managed to avoid 'nil points' in 2007 with this air hostess mess. The UK crashed into 22nd place with 19 points - the same as France. "Flying The Flag" was specifically written for Eurovision, but oh how we wish they hadn't bothered...
Art Piece taken off website amid 'severe security alert'
Maisie Williams single-handedly rises to the challengeTV
Academy criticised after no non-white actors nominated
tvAn expose of hooliganism masquerading as an ideological battle
artLee Hadwin can't draw when he's awake, but by night he's an artist
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Asteroid narrowly scrapes past Earth: how to watch the closest space rock for decades as it flies by
- 2 Saudi preacher who 'raped and tortured' his five -year-old daughter to death is released after paying 'blood money'
- 3 The enemy within: People who hear voices in their heads are being encouraged to talk back
- 4 British grandmother Lindsay Sandiford faces execution by firing squad in Indonesia
- 5 Watch Richard Dawkins read his own hatemail: 'I hope you do get sodomised by satanic monkeys in hell'
Mr Selfridge series 3: Actress Kara Tointon says 'we're starting to see his demise'
Ed Sheeran texts Noel Gallagher to offer him tickets after Wembley Stadium rant
Benedict Cumberbatch says Hollywood is better for black British actors
Emma Watson to play Belle in Beauty and the Beast
Sia apologises for 'Elastic Heart' music video that sees Shia LaBeouf wrestle 12-year-old Maddie Ziegler
'We would evict Queen from Buckingham Palace and allocate her council house,' say Greens
French court convicts three over homophobic tweets, in case hailed as a 'significant victory' by LGBT rights campaigners
Greece elections: Syriza and EU on collision course after election win for left-wing party
British Muslim school children suffering a backlash of abuse following Paris attacks
Islamic history is full of free thinkers - but recent attempts to suppress critical thought are verging on the absurd
30,000 reasons why the rhetoric on immigrants claiming benefits can stop now