Festival tribes: The people you won't be able to avoid at this summer's big events

view gallery VIEW GALLERY

 

The Trustafayrian

Favourite festival: Secret Garden Party

Must-see acts: It’s about so much more than the music

Essential accessory: Headdress

Lara isn’t sure exactly when festivals consumed her being. Oh no wait, she is: summer 2007, when she and best gal-pal Rosie went to their first Secret Garden Party dressed as steampunk Mad Hatters and ended up, two weeks later, nearly totalling a tractor at an impromptu psy-trance rave on someone’s parent’s Norfolk farm.

The whole thing was totally bloody life-changing. So when Lara finally got back to Shepherd’s Bush, she quit the secretarial job she got through Dad’s stockbroker contact and devoted herself entirely to tomfoolery.

Nowadays, she’s co-director of the Tipsy Hamster, which creates immersive tent experiences at jamborees up and down the country. Think dormouse taxidermy, corset cross-stitching and performance-poetry happenings organised by her boyfriend, haiku squadron leader Leo.

Mum and Dad don’t understand this is a not-really-for-profit thing and constantly nag her to get a career. It’s particularly annoying, given the hours she’s already spent on collapsible sculpture art for this year’s bi-annual visit to the Nevada desert for Burning Man.

The Green Man Goddess

Favourite festival: Green Man

Must-see acts: The Ox Bow Lake Initiative,  a brother-sister duo who update the sound of classic jug-band blues with serving spoons

Essential accessory: Multiple scarves

Keep it hush-hush, but Jane is going contraband this year. In light of controversial changes to the ale roster, she has decanted 15 litres of her favourite craft brew into plastic bottles, which she’ll smuggle into the main arena in the secret pockets of her customised, vintage tea dress.

Still, not even a Magners bar could dim the charity press officer’s enthusiasm for the Brecon Beacons bacchanal: three days of bucolic, nu-druidic serenity, full of arts, crafts, indier-than-thou music, mild drizzle, beards and very considerate people.

And, thanks to her freelance writing for the Folk the Pain Away blog, she gets in for free, too. Not that she’s a mere folkie: her tastes stretch as far and wide as the line-up.

Difficult time signatures, dance music you can’t dance to, any bands classified as “collectives”… you name it. She’ll try to hold herself together for Edwyn Collins, though she can’t guarantee that she won’t crumble like a badly made falafel at the first bars of “A Girl Like You”.

The Glastoic

Favourite festival: Glastonbury

Must-see acts: Anyone he saw in 1997

Essential accessory: Cagoule

There are few things that annoy Graham more than Glastonbury these days, filled as it is with sushi, glamping, silent discos, Example, BBC journalists in coloured Wayfarers, significant periods of dry weather and people who have come through the proper entrance.

 Though, in fact, one of the few things that annoys Graham more than Glastonbury is festivals that aren’t Glastonbury, hence why he’s making his 14th trip to Worthy Farm in 17 years despite nearly going Travis Bickle during the Kafka-esque nightmare of this year’s online ticket sale.

If he’s honest, he does wonder whether he’s part of the whole problem of the festival these days, what with his cocktail shaker, two kids, three varieties of Breton top and home-laminated personal schedule.

Who would suspect he once got unofficially married by a member of the Boo Radleys while tripping out at the Stone Circle? But then, by the same token, he just knows that come Saturday, 9pm, as Primal Scream command everyone to come together for “Come Together” on the Pyramid Stage, he’ll be bawling like Gazza and resolving to come back for one last year.

The Rioj’n’Roller

Favourite festival: Cornbury

Must-see acts: The one that his researcher told him was cool

Essential accessory: Daylesford Organic hamper

If you’d told Max 10 years ago that he’d be grooving away at a pop-music festival, he would have looked  at you as if you were Tony Benn. Yet here he is,  a government minister well into his forties, with sweat coursing down his crumpled polo shirt after getting down to George – James? – Arthur from The X Factor. 

He knows those who aren’t “engaged” with festival culture probably imagine they’re still playgrounds of hard drugs and hipness, but Cornbury really shows just how far things have moved on. One minute, you might be sharing some charcuterie with one of the Cotswold rock fraternity, the next sharing your passion for Van Morrison’s “Blood on the Tracks” with Jeremy C. 

And then there’s all the happy, ruddy-cheeked locals,  so ready to muck in with their produce and their entertainments. He would say this is Big Society  having a bloody good knees-up, though Pippa has rightly banned him from tweeting following his communion with the Pimm’s Bus.

The Lad Hander

Favourite festival: V

Must-see acts: The banging ones

Essential accessory: VIP lanyard

The day of wreck-oning is finally here: Jezza’s 24rd birthday mission to V. The chest has been waxed, the flip-flops polished, the deep V-neck thrice-ironed by Mum. Now all that’s left for the start-up property developer to do is wait for his 12 horsemen of the apoco-lash to arrive so they can cruise it down to Chelmsford with LMFAO on loop.

It’s a quality line-up this year – Calvin Harris is off the hinge and for legends, you can’t beat Stereophonics. Though to be honest, he’ll probably spend most of the weekend in the Virgin Trains VIP Lounge, which is totally worth the extra 100 quid (plus £5 booking fee) on the ticket price. After all, who wants to be dealing with grass and crowds, when there’s Astroturf, faux-Hawaiian cocktails and an endless succession of bands performing acoustic Rihanna covers?

Jez only hopes he sees a few more actual VIPs this time: last year he thought he was chirpsing a Saturday, when in fact she just went to school with Olly Murs’s sister – and that was after he’d spent half-an-hour waiting while she was getting a mascara mood assessment at the Mac style-blog pod.

Arts and Entertainment
Art on their sleeves: before downloads and streaming, enthusiasts used to flick through racks of albums in their local record shops
musicFor Lois Pryce, working in a record shop was a dream job - until the bean counters ruined it
Arts and Entertainment
Serial suspect: the property heir charged with first-degree murder, Robert Durst
TV review
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Arts and Entertainment

ebooksNow available in paperback
Arts and Entertainment

ebooks
Arts and Entertainment
Igarashi in her

Art Megumi Igarashi criticises Japan's 'backwards' attitude to women's sexual expression

Arts and Entertainment
Could Ed Sheeran conquer the Seven Kingdoms? He could easily pass for a Greyjoy like Alfie Allen's character (right)

tv Singer could become the most unlikely star of Westeros

Arts and Entertainment
Beyonce, Boris Johnson, Putin, Nigel Farage, Russell Brand and Andy Murray all get the Spitting Image treatment from Newzoids
tvReview: The sketches need to be very short and very sharp as puppets are not intrinsically funny
Arts and Entertainment
Despite the controversy it caused, Mile Cyrus' 'Wrecking Ball' video won multiple awards
musicPoll reveals over 70% of the British public believe sexually explicit music videos should get ratings
Arts and Entertainment
Lena Headey as Cersei Lannister and Ian Beattie as Meryn Trant in the fifth season of Game of Thrones

TV
Arts and Entertainment

book review
Arts and Entertainment
It's all in the genes: John Simm working in tandem with David Threlfall in 'Code of a Killer'

TV review
Arts and Entertainment
Far Right and Proud: Reggies Yates' Extreme Russia

TV review
Arts and Entertainment
Kanye West was mobbed in Armenia after jumping into a lake

music
Arts and Entertainment
The show suffers from its own appeal, being so good as to create an appetite in its viewers that is difficult to sate in a ten episode series

Game of Thrones reviewFirst look at season five contains some spoilers
Arts and Entertainment
Judi Dench and Kevin Spacey on the Red Carpet for 2015's Olivier Awards

Ray Davies' Sunny Afternoon scoops the most awards

Theatre
Arts and Entertainment
Proving his metal: Ross Poldark (played by Aidan Turner in the BBC series) epitomises the risk-taking spirit of 18th-century mine owners

Poldark review
Arts and Entertainment
Eddie Redmayne is reportedly favourite to play Newt Scamander in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

film
Arts and Entertainment
Tom Hardy stars in dystopian action thriller Mad Max: Fury Road

film
Arts and Entertainment
Josh, 22, made his first million from the game MinoMonsters

Grace Dent

Channel 4 show proves there's no app for happiness
News
Disgraced Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson
people
Arts and Entertainment
Game face: Zoë Kravitz, Bruce Greenwood and Ethan Hawke in ‘Good Kill’

film review

Arts and Entertainment
Living like there’s no tomorrow: Jon Hamm as Don Draper in the final season of ‘Mad Men’

TV review

  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating
    and  

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    Revealed: Why Mohammed Emwazi chose the 'safe option' of fighting for Isis, rather than following his friends to al-Shabaab in Somalia

    Why Mohammed Emwazi chose Isis

    His friends were betrayed and killed by al-Shabaab
    'The solution can never be to impassively watch on while desperate people drown'
An open letter to David Cameron: Building fortress Europe has had deadly results

    Open letter to David Cameron

    Building the walls of fortress Europe has had deadly results
    Tory candidates' tweets not as 'spontaneous' as they seem - you don't say!

    You don't say!

    Tory candidates' election tweets not as 'spontaneous' as they appear
    Mubi: Netflix for people who want to stop just watching trash

    So what is Mubi?

    Netflix for people who want to stop just watching trash all the time
    The impossible job: how to follow Kevin Spacey?

    The hardest job in theatre?

    How to follow Kevin Spacey
    Armenian genocide: To continue to deny the truth of this mass human cruelty is close to a criminal lie

    Armenian genocide and the 'good Turks'

    To continue to deny the truth of this mass human cruelty is close to a criminal lie
    Lou Reed: The truth about the singer's upbringing beyond the biographers' and memoirists' myths

    'Lou needed care, but what he got was ECT'

    The truth about the singer's upbringing beyond
    Migrant boat disaster: This human tragedy has been brewing for four years and EU states can't say they were not warned

    This human tragedy has been brewing for years

    EU states can't say they were not warned
    Women's sportswear: From tackling a marathon to a jog in the park, the right kit can help

    Women's sportswear

    From tackling a marathon to a jog in the park, the right kit can help
    Hillary Clinton's outfits will be as important as her policies in her presidential bid

    Clinton's clothes

    Like it or not, her outfits will be as important as her policies
    NHS struggling to monitor the safety and efficacy of its services outsourced to private providers

    Who's monitoring the outsourced NHS services?

    A report finds that private firms are not being properly assessed for their quality of care
    Zac Goldsmith: 'I'll trigger a by-election over Heathrow'

    Zac Goldsmith: 'I'll trigger a by-election over Heathrow'

    The Tory MP said he did not want to stand again unless his party's manifesto ruled out a third runway. But he's doing so. Watch this space
    How do Greek voters feel about Syriza's backtracking on its anti-austerity pledge?

    How do Greeks feel about Syriza?

    Five voters from different backgrounds tell us what they expect from Syriza's charismatic leader Alexis Tsipras
    From Iraq to Libya and Syria: The wars that come back to haunt us

    The wars that come back to haunt us

    David Cameron should not escape blame for his role in conflicts that are still raging, argues Patrick Cockburn
    Sam Baker and Lauren Laverne: Too busy to surf? Head to The Pool

    Too busy to surf? Head to The Pool

    A new website is trying to declutter the internet to help busy women. Holly Williams meets the founders