Festival tribes: The people you won't be able to avoid at this summer's big events

view gallery VIEW GALLERY

 

The Trustafayrian

Favourite festival: Secret Garden Party

Must-see acts: It’s about so much more than the music

Essential accessory: Headdress

Lara isn’t sure exactly when festivals consumed her being. Oh no wait, she is: summer 2007, when she and best gal-pal Rosie went to their first Secret Garden Party dressed as steampunk Mad Hatters and ended up, two weeks later, nearly totalling a tractor at an impromptu psy-trance rave on someone’s parent’s Norfolk farm.

The whole thing was totally bloody life-changing. So when Lara finally got back to Shepherd’s Bush, she quit the secretarial job she got through Dad’s stockbroker contact and devoted herself entirely to tomfoolery.

Nowadays, she’s co-director of the Tipsy Hamster, which creates immersive tent experiences at jamborees up and down the country. Think dormouse taxidermy, corset cross-stitching and performance-poetry happenings organised by her boyfriend, haiku squadron leader Leo.

Mum and Dad don’t understand this is a not-really-for-profit thing and constantly nag her to get a career. It’s particularly annoying, given the hours she’s already spent on collapsible sculpture art for this year’s bi-annual visit to the Nevada desert for Burning Man.

The Green Man Goddess

Favourite festival: Green Man

Must-see acts: The Ox Bow Lake Initiative,  a brother-sister duo who update the sound of classic jug-band blues with serving spoons

Essential accessory: Multiple scarves

Keep it hush-hush, but Jane is going contraband this year. In light of controversial changes to the ale roster, she has decanted 15 litres of her favourite craft brew into plastic bottles, which she’ll smuggle into the main arena in the secret pockets of her customised, vintage tea dress.

Still, not even a Magners bar could dim the charity press officer’s enthusiasm for the Brecon Beacons bacchanal: three days of bucolic, nu-druidic serenity, full of arts, crafts, indier-than-thou music, mild drizzle, beards and very considerate people.

And, thanks to her freelance writing for the Folk the Pain Away blog, she gets in for free, too. Not that she’s a mere folkie: her tastes stretch as far and wide as the line-up.

Difficult time signatures, dance music you can’t dance to, any bands classified as “collectives”… you name it. She’ll try to hold herself together for Edwyn Collins, though she can’t guarantee that she won’t crumble like a badly made falafel at the first bars of “A Girl Like You”.

The Glastoic

Favourite festival: Glastonbury

Must-see acts: Anyone he saw in 1997

Essential accessory: Cagoule

There are few things that annoy Graham more than Glastonbury these days, filled as it is with sushi, glamping, silent discos, Example, BBC journalists in coloured Wayfarers, significant periods of dry weather and people who have come through the proper entrance.

 Though, in fact, one of the few things that annoys Graham more than Glastonbury is festivals that aren’t Glastonbury, hence why he’s making his 14th trip to Worthy Farm in 17 years despite nearly going Travis Bickle during the Kafka-esque nightmare of this year’s online ticket sale.

If he’s honest, he does wonder whether he’s part of the whole problem of the festival these days, what with his cocktail shaker, two kids, three varieties of Breton top and home-laminated personal schedule.

Who would suspect he once got unofficially married by a member of the Boo Radleys while tripping out at the Stone Circle? But then, by the same token, he just knows that come Saturday, 9pm, as Primal Scream command everyone to come together for “Come Together” on the Pyramid Stage, he’ll be bawling like Gazza and resolving to come back for one last year.

The Rioj’n’Roller

Favourite festival: Cornbury

Must-see acts: The one that his researcher told him was cool

Essential accessory: Daylesford Organic hamper

If you’d told Max 10 years ago that he’d be grooving away at a pop-music festival, he would have looked  at you as if you were Tony Benn. Yet here he is,  a government minister well into his forties, with sweat coursing down his crumpled polo shirt after getting down to George – James? – Arthur from The X Factor. 

He knows those who aren’t “engaged” with festival culture probably imagine they’re still playgrounds of hard drugs and hipness, but Cornbury really shows just how far things have moved on. One minute, you might be sharing some charcuterie with one of the Cotswold rock fraternity, the next sharing your passion for Van Morrison’s “Blood on the Tracks” with Jeremy C. 

And then there’s all the happy, ruddy-cheeked locals,  so ready to muck in with their produce and their entertainments. He would say this is Big Society  having a bloody good knees-up, though Pippa has rightly banned him from tweeting following his communion with the Pimm’s Bus.

The Lad Hander

Favourite festival: V

Must-see acts: The banging ones

Essential accessory: VIP lanyard

The day of wreck-oning is finally here: Jezza’s 24rd birthday mission to V. The chest has been waxed, the flip-flops polished, the deep V-neck thrice-ironed by Mum. Now all that’s left for the start-up property developer to do is wait for his 12 horsemen of the apoco-lash to arrive so they can cruise it down to Chelmsford with LMFAO on loop.

It’s a quality line-up this year – Calvin Harris is off the hinge and for legends, you can’t beat Stereophonics. Though to be honest, he’ll probably spend most of the weekend in the Virgin Trains VIP Lounge, which is totally worth the extra 100 quid (plus £5 booking fee) on the ticket price. After all, who wants to be dealing with grass and crowds, when there’s Astroturf, faux-Hawaiian cocktails and an endless succession of bands performing acoustic Rihanna covers?

Jez only hopes he sees a few more actual VIPs this time: last year he thought he was chirpsing a Saturday, when in fact she just went to school with Olly Murs’s sister – and that was after he’d spent half-an-hour waiting while she was getting a mascara mood assessment at the Mac style-blog pod.

Arts & Entertainment
Maisie Williams of Game of Thrones now
tvMajor roles that grow with their child actors are helping them to steal the show on TV
Arts & Entertainment
Customers browse through Vinyl Junkies record shop in Berwick Street, Soho, London
music

Arts & Entertainment
Who laughs lass: Jenny Collier on stage
ComedyCollier was once told there were "too many women" on bill
Arts & Entertainment
Ian Anderson, the leader of British rock band Jethro Tull, (right) and British guitar player Martin Barre (left) perform on stage
music

VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition iPad app?
Arts & Entertainment
film

Arts & Entertainment
Don (John Hamm) and Megan (Jessica Paré) Draper are going their separate ways in the final series of ‘Mad Men’
tvReview: The suits are still sharp, but Don Draper has lost his edge
Arts & Entertainment
James Franco and Chris O'Dowd in Of Mice and Men on Broadway
theatre

Review: Of Mice and Men

Arts & Entertainment
art

By opportunistic local hoping to exhibit the work

Arts & Entertainment
Leonardo DiCaprio will star in an adaptation of Michael Punke's thriller 'The Revenant'
film

Fans will be hoping the role finally wins him an Oscar

Arts & Entertainment
Cody and Paul Walker pictured in 2003.
film

Arts & Entertainment
Down to earth: Fern Britton presents 'The Big Allotment Challenge'
TV

Arts & Entertainment
The London Mozart Players is the longest-running chamber orchestra in the UK
musicThreatened orchestra plays on, managed by its own members
Arts & Entertainment
Seeing red: James Dean with Sal Mineo in 'Rebel without a Cause'
film

Arts & Entertainment
TV
Arts & Entertainment
Heads up: Andy Scott's The Kelpies in Falkirk
art

What do gigantic horse heads tell us about Falkirk?

Arts & Entertainment
artGraffiti legend posts picture of work – but no one knows where it is
Arts & Entertainment
A close-up of Tom of Finland's new Finnish stamp
art

Finnish Postal Service praises the 'self irony and humour' of the drawings

Arts & Entertainment
Pierce Brosnan as James Bond in 2002's Die Another Day
film

The actor has confessed to his own insecurities

Life & Style
Green fingers: a plot in East London
TV

Allotments are the focus of a new reality show

Arts & Entertainment
Myleene Klass attends the Olivier awards 2014

Oliviers 2014Theatre stars arrive at Britain's most prestigious theatre awards
Arts & Entertainment
Stars of The Book of Mormon by Trey Parker and Matt Stone of South Park

Oliviers 2014Blockbuster picked up Best Musical and Best Actor in a Musical
Arts & Entertainment
Lesley Manville with her Olivier for Best Actress for her role in 'Ghosts'

Oliviers 2014Actress thanked director Richard Eyre for a stunning production
Independent
Travel Shop
the manor
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on city breaks Find out more
santorini
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on chic beach resorts Find out more
sardina foodie
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on country retreats Find out more
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition iPad app?

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating
    and  

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    Rubin ‘Hurricane’ Carter: The man who could have been champion of the world - and the Bob Dylan song that immortalised him

    The man who could have been champion of the world

    Rubin ‘Hurricane’ Carter and the Bob Dylan song that immortalised him
    Didn’t she do well?

    Didn’t she do well?

    Miranda Hart lined up for ‘Generation Game’ revival
    The Middle East we must confront in the future will be a Mafiastan ruled by money

    The Middle East we must confront in the future will be a Mafiastan ruled by money

    In Iraq, mafiosi already run almost the entire oil output of the south of the country
    Before they were famous

    Before they were famous

    Can you guess the celebrity from these British Pathe News clips?
    Martin Freeman’s casting in Fargo is genius

    Martin Freeman’s casting in Fargo is a stroke of genius

    Series is brimming with characters and stories all its own
    How I brokered a peace deal with Robert Mugabe: Roy Agyemang reveals the delicate diplomacy needed to get Zimbabwe’s President to sit down with the BBC

    How I brokered a peace deal with Robert Mugabe

    Roy Agyemang reveals the delicate diplomacy needed to get Zimbabwe’s President to sit down with the BBC
    Video of British Muslims dancing to Pharrell Williams's hit Happy attacked as 'sinful'

    British Muslims's Happy video attacked as 'sinful'

    The four-minute clip by Honesty Policy has had more than 300,000 hits on YouTube
    Church of England-raised Michael Williams describes the unexpected joys in learning about his family's Jewish faith

    Michael Williams: Do as I do, not as I pray

    Church of England-raised Williams describes the unexpected joys in learning about his family's Jewish faith
    A History of the First World War in 100 moments: A visit to the Front Line by the Prime Minister's wife

    A History of the First World War in 100 moments

    A visit to the Front Line by the Prime Minister's wife
    Comedian Jenny Collier: 'Sexism I experienced on stand-up circuit should be extinct'

    Jenny Collier: 'Sexism on stand-up circuit should be extinct'

    The comedian's appearance at a show on the eve of International Women's Day was cancelled because they had "too many women" on the bill
    Cannes Film Festival: Ken Loach and Mike Leigh to fight it out for the Palme d'Or

    Cannes Film Festival

    Ken Loach and Mike Leigh to fight it out for the Palme d'Or
    The concept album makes surprise top ten return with neolithic opus from Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson

    The concept album makes surprise top ten return

    Neolithic opus from Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson is unexpected success
    Lichen is the surprise new ingredient on fine-dining menus, thanks to our love of Scandinavian and Indian cuisines

    Lichen is surprise new ingredient on fine-dining menus

    Emily Jupp discovers how it can give a unique, smoky flavour to our cooking
    10 best baking books

    10 best baking books

    Planning a spot of baking this bank holiday weekend? From old favourites to new releases, here’s ten cookbooks for you
    Jury still out on Manchester City boss Manuel Pellegrini

    Jury still out on Pellegrini

    Draw with Sunderland raises questions over Manchester City manager's ability to motivate and unify his players