Zayn Malik has quit One Direction. That 50ft bronze statue of him in Leicester Square will have to be torn down, and Zaynville will have to be switched back to its original name of Stoke.
Fans are beside themselves. How can the time space continuum continue to function when there are four members of One Direction instead of five?
Here are a selection of the most crazed reactions, which I will be updating as they come in until we have something resembling a post-modern art piece about 21st century hyperbole.
NO @zaynmalik— Rachel (@rachellemons_) March 25, 2015
Don't let us fall... @zaynmalik— • -53 soulmate • (@IrishSoulmate_) March 25, 2015
THIS IS NOT FUNNY! ZAYN MALIK LEAVING ONE DIRECTION! I WANNA SLAP SOMEONE DEAD NOW— (@Seasidesziam) March 25, 2015
@zaynmalik U have let me down U have rly let me down— #1 niall stan (@jessnoopdogg) March 25, 2015
Nobody understands that this isn't just "Zayn malik leaving one direction" this is the end to a huge part of me I'm dying inside— RoRose (@Robynnmanzo) March 25, 2015
@zaynmalik ZAYN WE NEED YOU— رويد (@Rwedxx) March 25, 2015
@zaynmalik Zayn please don't leave me. Don't leave us please.— ''Бащи радост'' (@InhaleStyles23) March 25, 2015
how is this even legal @zaynmalik— alia rozoox (@Aliarazak) March 25, 2015
Please don't do this @zaynmalik— JEMPUT AKU HARRY (@MaharaniTr_) March 25, 2015
Finally, apropos nothing, here's my favourite piece of Zayn Malik fan fiction.