Network: Dog and bone with a bullish ring

My Tech; Bob Mills tells Jennifer Rodger about his favourite gadget, a Nokia mobile phone

All I have to say is "it's a banana phone" and people know what I mean. For about three or four years, when everyone had a mobile, I avoided having one because I thought it would be the last bastion of my privacy taken from me. But now I can't imagine for one second not having one.

The great thing about it is that it means - which I didn't realise because I am so stupid! - you can use them in tandem with your own phone. I didn't know about call divert, thought you had to give everyone in the world your mobile phone. I didn't know that you can actually send written messages on it, write stupid little notes to my wife and mates. I'm sure it's meant to send important notes, but for instance some gags are better written than told, so you send them on the mobile.

I suddenly realised I was living in the Dark Ages. If I was out, I had to find a phone box, and then it seemed overnight that very few took money any more. So it was no good finding a phone at 2am, then having to find somewhere that sold phone cards. I think there has been a conspiracy in the communications industry to make us buy mobiles.

The other great thing about this one is that it doesn't have to have a normal ring. Mine plays the Torreador song from Carmen, and sometimes I get people to phone me just to listen to the music!

I went into a shop and said I was a complete idiot, and didn't want anything I couldn't use, like one that sends faxes or connects to e-mail - just give me the handiest phone that's least likely to break. I am also quite a big bloke, and tried the little ones but the distance from ear to mouth is too great. This one pulls out to be a almost a normal size telephone.

The other great thing is I can't talk and think very well when I am sitting down - you are at a distinct disadvantage if tied to a table. As soon as I start walking around I start thinking quicker. But that's not just me, it's probably a physiological fact. Any "great idea" phone calls have always been made on the mobile.

At home I am normally doing family stuff; I only go into the office when I have work to do, so the spare time is when I am in my car. Being able to spend that time chatting and doing business means it frees up those hours which would normally be lost.

I would be terrified of using it in odd places in case I got found out. If I am in a conversation and the going's getting rough, and need a bit of thinking time, you can cut them off and blame it on the phone. The only problem is down to my own lack of ability with technical things. I am a technophobe. I am not proud of it - it's not inverted snobbery. I would love to be able to operate a computer properly, and am embarrassed that I have a machine capable of so many activities but I can do three things with it: turn it on, write, print. I've been shown how, but didn't understand, and got annoyed at the person for exposing my lack of ability. If I ever had the time to learn how I know that my life would be finished, and I would sack my agent.

Arts and Entertainment

game of thrones reviewWarning: spoilers

Arts and Entertainment
The original Star Wars trio of Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill

George Osborne confirms Star Wars 8 will film at Pinewood Studios in time for 4 May


Arts and Entertainment
Haunted looks: Matthew Macfadyen and Timothy Spall star in ‘The Enfield Haunting’

North London meets The Exorcist in eerie suburban drama


Arts and Entertainment

Filming to begin on two new series due to be aired on Dave from next year


Arts and Entertainment
Kit Harington plays MI5 agent Will Holloway in Spooks: The Greater Good

'You can't count on anyone making it out alive'film
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Arts and Entertainment

ebooksNow available in paperback
Arts and Entertainment

  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    Fishing for votes with Nigel Farage: The Ukip leader shows how he can work an audience as he casts his line to the disaffected of Grimsby

    Fishing is on Nigel Farage's mind

    Ukip leader casts a line to the disaffected
    Who is bombing whom in the Middle East? It's amazing they don't all hit each other

    Who is bombing whom in the Middle East?

    Robert Fisk untangles the countries and factions
    China's influence on fashion: At the top of the game both creatively and commercially

    China's influence on fashion

    At the top of the game both creatively and commercially
    Lord O’Donnell: Former cabinet secretary on the election and life away from the levers of power

    The man known as GOD has a reputation for getting the job done

    Lord O'Donnell's three principles of rule
    Rainbow shades: It's all bright on the night

    Rainbow shades

    It's all bright on the night
    'It was first time I had ever tasted chocolate. I kept a piece, and when Amsterdam was liberated, I gave it to the first Allied soldier I saw'

    Bread from heaven

    Dutch survivors thank RAF for World War II drop that saved millions
    Britain will be 'run for the wealthy and powerful' if Tories retain power - Labour

    How 'the Axe' helped Labour

    UK will be 'run for the wealthy and powerful' if Tories retain power
    Rare and exclusive video shows the horrific price paid by activists for challenging the rule of jihadist extremists in Syria

    The price to be paid for challenging the rule of extremists

    A revolution now 'consuming its own children'
    Welcome to the world of Megagames

    Welcome to the world of Megagames

    300 players take part in Watch the Skies! board game in London
    'Nymphomaniac' actress reveals what it was really like to star in one of the most explicit films ever

    Charlotte Gainsbourg on 'Nymphomaniac'

    Starring in one of the most explicit films ever
    Robert Fisk in Abu Dhabi: The Emirates' out-of-sight migrant workers helping to build the dream projects of its rulers

    Robert Fisk in Abu Dhabi

    The Emirates' out-of-sight migrant workers helping to build the dream projects of its rulers
    Vince Cable interview: Charging fees for employment tribunals was 'a very bad move'

    Vince Cable exclusive interview

    Charging fees for employment tribunals was 'a very bad move'
    Iwan Rheon interview: Game of Thrones star returns to his Welsh roots to record debut album

    Iwan Rheon is returning to his Welsh roots

    Rheon is best known for his role as the Bastard of Bolton. It's gruelling playing a sadistic torturer, he tells Craig McLean, but it hasn't stopped him recording an album of Welsh psychedelia
    Morne Hardenberg interview: Cameraman for BBC's upcoming show Shark on filming the ocean's most dangerous predator

    It's time for my close-up

    Meet the man who films great whites for a living
    Increasing numbers of homeless people in America keep their mobile phones on the streets

    Homeless people keep mobile phones

    A homeless person with a smartphone is a common sight in the US. And that's creating a network where the 'hobo' community can share information - and fight stigma - like never before