Poetic Licence

Trouble with Mink Illustration: Michael Heath
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The Independent Culture
Five thousand Mustelidae

Or mink (Mustela vison)

A type of stoat

Prized for its coat

Were languishing in prison

When came a kindly zealot

Self-righteous in compassion

Saying: `All are free

You shall not be

A sacrifice to fashion.'

A spokesmink for the martens

Said: `That's a bit of luck.

Well, thanks a bunch

We must do lunch!'

And promptly killed a duck

Before the horde hit Hampshire

To vent their fearful habits

On water rats

Domestic cats

The fish, the fowl and rabbits

These creatures held a meeting

In mood less than delirious

Which badger chaired

Opinions aired

Included: `This is serious

These mobile stoles are starving

And nothing makes them scared

The soccer thugs

On booze and drugs

Are Ladyboys compared.'

`Who freed them?' asked a squirrel.

`Some idiot,' said Badger

`Who gets ideas

So it appears

From tugging at his tadger

Whose noble act will lead to

Our future situation

That final breath

Which we call death

But he calls liberation.'