Poetic Licence: A Patient Writes
A debate is currently raging over the strict code of ethics forbidding consensual sex between doctors and patients. Why don't they ask the patients?
Wednesday 26 June 1996
Doctors ooze allure
Should they shtup their patients?
Why not? Sure!
Doctors must get lonely
Look how hard they work
Are their only perk.
Help your doctor help you
Lie down on the floor
Sigh: "Oh, God, I love you
More. More. More."
Ring the BMA up
That's the thing to do
Say your doctor's knackered
Then they send you two.
If a doctor calls you
Asks you how you are
Then proposes meeting
Later in a bar
Don't be sanctimonious
Change and comb your hair
Long as it's consensual
Nobody should care
Why do all these killjoys
Hurry to condemn?
It's because the doctor
Doesn't fancy them
Do the patients want it?
Yes, of course we do!
Only thing that stalls us
Is the endless queue.
GlastonburyWI to make debut appearance at Somerset festival
TV reviewIt has taken seven episodes for Game of Thrones season five to hit its stride
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 California man brutally beat 82-year-old Sikh grandfather he mistook for 'one of those people'
- 2 Gay teenager 'forced to have sex with his own mother' to 'cure' his homosexuality, campaigners in India say
- 3 Charles Kennedy 'had better judgement drunk than many sober politicians' says Ian Hislop
- 5 We have six months to save the world, says leading economist
Game of Thrones, Battle of Hardhome: 20-minute Wildlings versus White Walkers battle took a 'solid month' to film
Game of Thrones season 5 episode 9: 'The Dance of Dragons' sees Jon Snow return to The Wall after epic Battle of Hardhome
Britain's Got Talent final 2015: 90 viewers complain to Ofcom about Alesha Dixon and Amanda Holden's 'revealing' dresses
Ed Sheeran debuts new song 'Sweet Mary Jane' about his love affair with weed
Black Angel: Long lost Star Wars precursor to be made into crowdfunded feature film
Thousands of teenage girls enduring debilitating illnesses after routine school cancer vaccination
Migrants in Kos: Photos show real tragedy after Brits abroad complain of 'awkward' holidays
British tourists complain that impoverished boat migrants are making holidays 'awkward' in Kos
Michael Gove determined to scrap the Human Rights Act – even if Scotland retains it
Threat to scrap Human Rights Act could see UK follow Nazi example, warns UN official
Church of England 'one generation away from extinction' after dramatic loss of followers