Poetic Licence: A Patient Writes
A debate is currently raging over the strict code of ethics forbidding consensual sex between doctors and patients. Why don't they ask the patients?
Wednesday 26 June 1996
Doctors ooze allure
Should they shtup their patients?
Why not? Sure!
Doctors must get lonely
Look how hard they work
Are their only perk.
Help your doctor help you
Lie down on the floor
Sigh: "Oh, God, I love you
More. More. More."
Ring the BMA up
That's the thing to do
Say your doctor's knackered
Then they send you two.
If a doctor calls you
Asks you how you are
Then proposes meeting
Later in a bar
Don't be sanctimonious
Change and comb your hair
Long as it's consensual
Nobody should care
Why do all these killjoys
Hurry to condemn?
It's because the doctor
Doesn't fancy them
Do the patients want it?
Yes, of course we do!
Only thing that stalls us
Is the endless queue.
TV reviewBroadcasting House was preparing for a visit from Prince Charles spoiler alert
Glastonbury Michael Eavis reveals final headline act 'most likely' British pair
Film Ewan McGregor joins star-studded Beauty and the Beast cast as Lumiere
TVThe Island with Bear Grylls under fire after male contestants kill and eat rare crocodile
Grace Dent on TV The Secret Life of the Pub is sexist, ageist and a breath of fresh air
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Migrant crisis: Greek soldier saved 20 people singlehandedly off Rhodes beach
- 2 Sofyen Belamouadden murder: The inside story of a crime that horrified Britain
- 3 UK weather: Britain braced for snow as arctic air mass moves in
- 4 Aaron and Melissa Klein: Oregon anti-gay bakers ordered to pay $135,000 after refusing to make cake for same-sex wedding
- 5 'Isis' schoolgirls: Missing British teenager tweets picture of her Syrian takeaway
Poldark, series 1 finale, review: How a costume drama became a Sunday night swoon-fest
Al Pacino admits he was nearly fired from The Godfather and it's still his most 'difficult role'
Warner Music owner Len Blavatnik tops Sunday Times Rich List
Game of Thrones season 5 episode 3, review: Sansa and manhood-lopping torturer Ramsay Bolton - really?
The day I starred in Only Fools and Horses
General Election 2015: Chuka Umunna on the benefits of immigration, humility – and his leader Ed Miliband
The sickening truth about food banks that the Tories don't want you to know
Migrant boat disaster: Ukip candidate mocks victims in sickening Twitter post
Nigel Farage wants the BBC to stop making programmes like Doctor Who, Strictly Come Dancing, and Top Gear
Global warming: Scientists say temperatures could rise by 6C by 2100 and call for action ahead of UN meeting in Paris
General Election 2015: Britain would become a 'communist dictatorship' under Ed Miliband and Nicola Sturgeon, claims wife of Michael Gove