Poetic Licence: The Downing Street Chi

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In the wake of recent news that Cherie Blair wears a New Age pendant containing magic crystals, a Feng Shui consultant has reportedly toured Numbers 10, 11 and 12 Downing Street to advise the Blairs on the state of their Yin and Yang

They mumble in moustaches

And cackle now and then:

The ghosts of politicians

Who lurk at Number Ten...

They gather in the small hours

To watch the new man's game.

His pressures and his bugbears,

Once theirs, remain the same.

The budget: That old see-saw;

Those arrows left and right;

The Washington alarm call

And daggers in the night;

The sudden resignations

At times expected least;

The Saladin-in-waiting

Who rears up from the east.

It all comes with the office

And nothing's ever changed,

Not even if the armchairs

And beds are rearranged;

Not even if those windbells

And pictures which you hang

Can counteract the loo vibe

To balance Yin and Yang.

For rulers all need dummies,

Depending on their type -

A cricket bat, an organ,

A handbag or a pipe -

Whatever makes your chi flow,

Whatever calms you down,

Whatever starts your moped

And gets you into town.

The cabinet clutching crystals,

Nine goldfish in the tank,

And Mo placed next to Gordon,

Who's upside down near Frank.

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