Scientology: your questions unanswered
No 149: SCIENTOLOGY
It fields a variety of people ("Family of Man"), one by one, back-lit against a swirly, marbly, bad-wallpaper background. Everyone has one word to say - "trust". We get a pale 15-year-old Afro-American (Michael Jackson before he overdid it), a young Barry Manilow type, a dark black girl, a long-haired possibly South American boy, lots of Chinese people, a fair few Indians, a couple of Barbies, etc.
Despite the apparent variety, this absolutely isn't a representative group of naturally occurring types. Everyone is considerably neater, cleaner, cuter and more user-friendly than is entirely normal. And an interesting extra element is that a number of the participants bear that look of having been stolen away by the fairies.
We then move to another increasingly common device, the camera roving along a row of happy, engaged and unconcerned people (cf cK1, etc). Here the event looks to be the on-stage finale of a pyramid-selling convention. And as the all-purpose soft-rock backing track swells towards something modestly anthemic, a south-London voice-over (it must've been re-voiced) says: "On the day when we can fully trust each other there will be peace on earth." This incontrovertible (and operationally meaningless) sentiment gives no clue - no hostage to fortune - about the Scientologists.
But the ad also offers a brochure, a book called What is Scientology?, with a Watchtower-ish bright mountain cover and a telephone sales number - which, should readers of the IoS care to find practical wisdom for a happier and more fulfilling life, is 01342 324571.
Final Top Gear reviewTV
FestivalsFive ways to avoid the portable toilets
Jurassic WorldThe results are completely brilliant
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Michael Douglas regrets 'embarrassing' Catherine Zeta-Jones with oral sex comments
- 2 Tunisia hotel attack: Locals form 'human shield' to protect hotel from gunman Seifeddine Rezgui
- 3 Tunisian builder has been hailed a hero after knocking gunman to the ground with roof tiles
- 4 German ethics council calls for incest between siblings to be legalised by Government
- 5 E.L James's #AskELJames Twitter Q&A didn't go exactly as planned
Cara Delevingne attacks superhero movies as 'totally sexist' while praising Suicide Squad
Kanye West at Glastonbury 2015: 'He raps' - BBC subtitles team upstages Yeezy with hilarious description of lyrics
Glastonbury 2015: Lionel Richie attracts festival's biggest crowds for Sunday's 'dad slot'
Top Gear last episode review: A momentous occasion for Clarkson, Hammond and May fans
E.L James's #AskELJames Twitter Q&A didn't go exactly as planned
The moment a Queen's Guard soldier lost it and drew his gun at annoying tourist
Greece crisis: The wider lesson is that it’s time to abandon this failed experiment in currencies
'I wish the BBC would stop calling it Islamic State' – David Cameron unleashes frustration at broadcaster
Extend Right To Buy to tenants of private landlords, Labour's Jeremy Corbyn says
David Cameron struck double blow in his hopes to win Britain a new EU deal
Pentagon accuses Russia of 'playing with fire' over nuclear threats towards Nato