TELEVISION / Tabloid TV

Those tabloid TV 'scoops' in short: Arnold Schwarzenegger has signed on to boldly go where no one has gone before in an upcoming episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation; Mel Smith injured himself pretending to be a windscreen cleaner for Alas Smith and Jones - a car ran over his foot; and the Bruce Forsyth Appreciation Society revealed that membership requirements include wearing 6 sq in of shag-pile atop one's barnet (2 sq in of same for the upper lip is an optional extra).