The Joys of Modern Life: 62. BRITAIN'S LICENSING LAWS
Tuesday 21 September 1999
By the time I made it to the confines of my London flat, I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was nip across the street to a local bar for a quick drink before bed. But by now, it was well past the 11pm drinking curfew. Distraught and restless, I gave up, and downed two sleeping pills instead.
At the time, I was annoyed by Britain's drinking laws - which to New Yorkers might seem antiquated and out of tune with contemporary urban living. But in retrospect, I now believe it is one of the true joys of London life.
London is thriving, more cosmopolitan than almost anywhere else in the world, yet even in the late 20th century it is still healthier than Los Angeles could ever hope to be.
The 11pm curfew on pubs and 1am curfew on most bars and restaurants helps not only to make sure that people don't drink too much but also that they get to bed early, sober, and alone. It is the ultimate form of safe sex. London demands you receive a good night's sleep.
Wth Kate Moss's recent highly publicised retreat to the capital after suffering "exhaustion," London is poised to become the next big rehab, get-away-from-it-all spot. The licensing laws ensure tourists rise early to enjoy an entire day of your great British weather. So next time you question those laws, just remember, your country is looking out for both you and your liver.
GlastonburyWI to make debut appearance at Somerset festival
TV reviewIt has taken seven episodes for Game of Thrones season five to hit its stride
FilmPalme d'Or goes to radical and astonishing film that turns conventional thinking about immigrants on its head
Potter's attempt to create an Essex Taj Mahal was a lovely treattv
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Cyclist who knocked down three-year-old girl says his life has been 'destroyed'
- 2 Chelsea victory parade: Chelsea mocked on Twitter as 'tens of fans' pack the streets of London
- 3 US warned by Chinese media to stop meddling or 'war will be inevitable'
- 4 Woman, 21, dies after taking contraceptive pill that 'caused fatal blood clot'
- 5 Isis burns woman alive for refusing to engage in 'extreme' sex act, UN says
Stolen Instagram photo sells for $90,000
The New York Times sparks criticism after releasing an all-white reading list
Glastonbury lineup 2015: The Women's Institute to make debut appearance at Somerset festival
Dheepan, film review: Palme d'Or prize goes to radical and astonishing film that turns conventional thinking about immigrants on its head
Game of Thrones, The Gift, Season 5, Episode 7: Why two of the show’s most iconic characters just met
As a white man, I'm surprised more women aren't tweeting the hashtag #KillAllWhiteMen
Scotland may have to leave the EU even if it votes to stay in, David Cameron confirms
The day that Britain resigned as a global power
SNP fury as HS2 finds 'no business case' for taking fast train service to Scotland
EU referendum: David Cameron's rules are a 'democratic disgrace', says French-born Scottish politician set to be denied a vote
A nation of inequality: How the UK is failing to feed its most vulnerable people