CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, Channel 5 - TV review
Ellen E Jones
Ellen is The Independent's TV critic. She writes a daily review of Last Night's TV and a weekly 'Inside TV' column for the i paper, as well as a column on general topics for the main paper most Wednesdays. Ellen is a former Hollywood correspondent and a contributing editor to Little White Lies, she's written on TV, film, lifestyle, travel and politics for publications including the Guardian, The Times, The Sunday Times, Esquire and Total Film.
Tuesday 03 June 2014
In CSI: Crime Scene Investigation there's always the certainty of death. The 14th series of what's reckoned to be the most watched television show in the world began on Channel 5 last night with a funeral – but what exactly were we mourning?
The show's spin-offs CSI: New York and CSI: Miami, both of which have been cancelled? The careers of once-promising actors, Oscar-nominated Elisabeth Shue and Golden Globe winner Ted Danson? Or just another of the numerous fictional females who must keep on dying so that this show can live?
When we left off at the end of series 13 both CSI Morgan (Elisabeth Harnois) and the daughter of Capt Jim Brass (Paul Guilfoyle) had been kidnapped by a serial killer who arranges his crime scenes to resemble engravings of the Nine Circles of Hell. It was a great help to the investigation that all the CSIs could quote Dante with the familiarity of a medieval scholar. Perhaps some of them had also seen the movie Seven, from which elements of this episode were conspicuously borrowed?
The episode's climax gave series stalwart Brass the chance to exercise some hitherto unused facial muscles, but otherwise it was the usual jumble of pseudo-scientific nonsense (synthetic DNA data storage? Eh?), bad acting and violence against women. Abandon hope all ye who enter here.
Oscars 2015 Mexican filmmaker uses speech to urge 'respect' for immigrants
Oscars 2015 Bringing you all the news from the 87th Academy Awards
TV ReviewThe intrigue deepens as we delve further but don't expect any answers just yet
Razzies 2015 Golden Raspberry Awards 'honours' Cameron Diaz and Kirk Cameron
Film Hollywood's new leading lady talks about her Ramsay Street days
Oscar voter speaks outfilm
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 The black and blue dress: Makers considering a white and gold version
- 2 Husband and wife die holding hands within hours of each other after 67 years of marriage
- 3 What color is The Dress, white and gold or blue and black? An eyewitness gives a definitive answer
- 4 The remarkable archaeological underwater discovery that could open up a new chapter in the study of European and British prehistory
- 5 Madonna claims jokes about her age tantamount to racism: 'No one would dare to say a degrading remark about being black'
Seinfeld is laughing all the way to the bank: TV show generates $3.1bn in repeat fees since final episode
Eddie Redmayne in The Danish Girl: First look at Oscar winner as transgender artist
Blade Runner sequel: Harrison Ford confirmed to return with Denis Villeneuve directing
All fiction follows one of six basic storylines, according to new research
House of Cards season 3 premiere, review: Has Frank Underwood gone soft?
Oscars 2015: Birdman beats Boyhood as Eddie Redmayne and Patricia Arquette win big - as it happened
New theory could prove how life began and disprove God
Half of Ukip voters say they are prejudiced against people of other races
'Cash for access' scandal: Sir Malcolm Rifkind says 'unrealistic' for MPs to live on £67,000 salary
This is what it's like to be dead, according to a guy who died for a bit
'Jihadi John': CAGE representative storms off Sky News accusing Kay Burley of Islamophobia