Festivals, Sex & Suspicious Parents, TV review: BBC3 format returns for more cringe antics
More child-parent learning and hugging in this format spin-off
For many British teenagers, the music festival is often a first chance to throw off the shackles of GCSE biology, and to alight somewhere in a field. Or, at least, a field just outside Reading town centre. And go wild, wild, wild.
I'm still faintly surprised that my mum allowed me to join half of my Year 11 colleagues at Leeds Festival where we learned the finer arts of getting intoxicated on plastic bottles of Smirnoff Ice (tasted good warm) and throwing things at Papa Roach.
I'm also proud to say I witnessed several members of my sixth form take their first steps into the world of petty criminality during the Leeds Festival 2002 riots. There was a gas canister and a portable cabin involved. Best leave it at that.
Sun, Sex & Suspicious Parents is a BBC3 series in which parents secretly watch their kids debasing themselves in Faliraki.
It goes like this: 18-year-old drinks pineapple full of vodka; falls off a bar; pukes; gets chastised by a disappointed parent or two; everybody hugs and learns. Here, the concept has been transferred to the world of music festivals in Festivals, Sex & Suspicious Parents.
We met Chris, a budding boxer, who could barely speak by the time his minibus got to the Kendal Calling site. He was about to begin a teetotal training year and seemed determined to go out on what boxing fans call "a Hatton".
We also met Lauren, who was on the sauce just as quickly. "Lauren, don't be necking red wine, seriously," warned best pal Holly. Cut to: Lauren pulling her pants down and urinating in the middle of field in broad daylight.
Will her parents approve or not? The suspense wasn't murderous.
We stuck with Chris and Lauren carrying themselves with the decorum of an Oasis crowd at a bacchanal until their folks arrived to inform them that defecating in public and showing your backside is not cool. They're right, it's not cool.
Of course, the kids redeemed themselves eventually and didn't do anything too barmy – as few would with a camera crew in trail.
Then the parents arrived and the hugs and learnings took place. Meanwhile, I slowly thanked the TV gods that BBC3 didn't exist in the early Noughties.
Listen to his collaboration with Naughty Boymusic
Film review Michael Glatze biopic isn't about a self-hating gay man gone straight
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Rape threats, death threats and a police investigation after video poking fun at an Islamic Party in Malaysia goes viral
- 2 Katie Hopkins attacked me on Twitter — so I reported her to the police for inciting racial hatred
- 3 Gamers confess the worst things they've done in The Sims
- 4 6-year-old writes ice cold Valentine's card to his stepmother
- 5 Syrian child photographed 'surrendering to camera because she thought it was a gun'
Tidal launch: The most pretentious lines from Alicia Keys' valedictory speech
Tidal: Jay Z's Spotify rival criticised for making wealthy artists even richer
Tidal launch: Madonna insists Jay Z's new streaming service is 'not about consumption and greed'
Top Gear live to go ahead: Jeremy Clarkson to join Richard Hammond and James May... just don't call it Top Gear
Ryan Reynolds interview: The actor is branching out with Nazi art-theft drama Woman in Gold
Katie Hopkins attacked me on Twitter — so I reported her to the police for inciting racial hatred
Street preacher quoting from the Bible fined for calling homosexuality an 'abomination'
Woman filmed launching racist tirade against men on the Tube for speaking in 'own lingo'
David Cameron calls Labour 'hopeless, sneering socialists' while announcing 7-day NHS plans
Revealed: Putin's army of pro-Kremlin bloggers
Katie Hopkins reported to the police for race hatred by Labour MP Simon Danczuk after tweet about Pakistani men