Kirstie's Best of Both Worlds. Channel 4 - TV review: 'Kirstie's town and county show isn't worth a second viewing'
Ellen E Jones
Ellen is The Independent's TV critic. She writes a daily review of Last Night's TV and a weekly 'Inside TV' column for the i paper, as well as a column on general topics for the main paper most Wednesdays. Ellen is a former Hollywood correspondent and a contributing editor to Little White Lies, she's written on TV, film, lifestyle, travel and politics for publications including the Guardian, The Times, The Sunday Times, Esquire and Total Film.
Tuesday 25 February 2014
Fortunately for my blood pressure, Kirstie Allsopp’s new town and country property programme, Kirstie’s Best of Both Worlds, did not involve wealthy home buyers purchasing both a chic town pied-à-terre and a country retreat in one 60-minute programme. Instead, it focused on Kirstie’s attempts to persuade couples to look outside the city centre for a lifestyle to really suit. Fun factoid: house prices decrease by an average of £1,300 for every minute you add to your daily commute.
This week’s couple were Grace and Lindsay, a meek, softly spoken pair from Belfast. Town mouse Grace has enjoyed her four years of London life and was hoping for more of that café culture on the doorstep of their new home in Northern Ireland. Country mouse Lindsay cared only for peace, quiet and perhaps a stunning mountain view from the bedroom window.
Kirstie suggested they compromise with a property somewhere in between. We used to call this “the suburbs” in my day, and it was derided as a dreary purgatory by both city folk and their country cousins, but now, apparently, it’s the height of desirability. If Kirstie has her way, a Zone 6 garden shed with a bucket for a loo will soon be priced out of all affordability.
In the meantime, Kirstie – or should that be Channel 4’s research team? – has done a marvellous job selecting desirable properties for the window shoppers at home to salivate over. A beautifully furnished Victorian three-bed for £159,000? Yes, please. And as for that total bargain overlooking a lake? We didn’t need Grace’s mum cooing over its wintertime resemblance to Narnia to know it was something special.
Sadly, the same can’t be said for this supposedly new format. It’s just Location, Location, Location minus the calming influence of Phil Spencer. While the old estate agent’s adage still stands, Kirstie’s new house-hunting tips didn’t seem particularly useful. They’re best summed up as, “Have a job that allows you to work from home and don’t forget to be rich.”
Music Why this music festival is still the place to spot the next big thing
Film review Michael Glatze biopic isn't about a self-hating gay man gone straight
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 East 17 bandmember Brian Harvey in 'very desperate situation’
- 2 Is this bridge haunted by the ghost of nu rave?
- 3 Woman filmed launching racist tirade against men on the Tube for speaking in 'own lingo'
- 4 The West has it totally wrong on Lee Kuan Yew
- 5 Scientists have discovered a simple way to cook rice that dramatically cuts the calories
Britain's first cinema flickers back to life following £6m refurbishment
A historian gave the most British look of despair when someone screwed up Richard III's birthday at his reburial
James May hints Top Gear days are over following Jeremy Clarkson's BBC exit
Fifty Shades of Grey movie shows first sex scene 'after 40 minutes'
James May hints he will not continue on Top Gear without Jeremy Clarkson
Ukip supporters are 55 or older, white and socially conservative, finds British Social Attitudes Report
JK Rowling responds to fan tweeting she 'can't see' Dumbledore being gay
Jeremy Clarkson sacked live: Alan Yentob 'wouldn't rule out' ex Top Gear host's BBC return
David Cameron calls Labour 'hopeless, sneering socialists' while announcing 7-day NHS plans
The West has it totally wrong on Lee Kuan Yew
Revealed: Putin's army of pro-Kremlin bloggers