Love Island, TV review: Watching them take it in turns to choose a mate was painful viewing

The show is a reincarnation of a mid-Noughties format involving Z-list celebrities, now revamped with civilians

Chris 'the brand' Baxter was a perfectly-coiffured, waxed, white jean-wearing oil-monger (ITV)

Remember 2004, when that couple on Big Brother might have had sex hidden under blanket-covered chairs? Those halcyon days are long gone; in 2015 "scenes of a graphic sexual nature" are common-place on reality television. Not least Love Island, now in its second week. It's a reincarnation of a mid-Noughties format involving Z-list celebrities, now revamped with civilians, some almost famous already thanks to smartphones and a selfie sticks.

This week's newest contestant called himself Chris "the brand" Baxter. He had over 46,000 Instagram followers and was a perfectly-coiffured, waxed, white jean-wearing oil-monger. Like a bottle of Hawaiian Tropic in man-form.

The girls were equally well groomed – tanned and mostly models. All they had to do was sunbathe, navel gaze and find someone to "couple-up" with to try and be the last pair standing and win a cash prize.

I watched them take it in turns to choose a mate. It was painful viewing; like being picked last for PE when even the least sporty had Mo Farah skills. More interesting was the language. In absence of any local culture, this lot had just picked up words from the group; everyone was "mugging off" each other and being "pied". That's when they were not working on that graphic sexual content.