The Weekend's Television: Katie Price - the Jordan Years, Sun, BBC3
enidorm, Sun, ITV1

view gallery VIEW GALLERY

Boom and bust survivor

I don't know about you but I find it a little strange that Dr Jeya Prakash still has Jordan's first set of breasts in his desk.

Dr Prakash is the man who took Katie Price from 3C to a 3D and though he turned her down when she came back for her third augmentation he clearly has fond memories. When Richard Macer went to interview him for Katie Price: the Jordan Years, a hasty cut-together of old footage designed to cash in on the Love Split of the Decade, he coyly reached into his top drawer and invited Macer to palp the implants that helped propel Jordan from just another glamour model to a pin-up girl for canny self-empowerment. Come to think of it, you might also find it a little strange that Macer has more than 200 hours of film of Jordan to work with, an assembly that sounds less like documentary diligence than the kind of obsession that has to be quelled by legal injunction.

Judging from the footage you saw, Jordan or Katie was perfectly happy to have him around, sometimes using him as a kind of court confidant and at other times as a friendly punchbag. A lot of sequences ended with a slurred voice telling him to turn off the camera and Jordan's hand wavering uncertainly towards the lens, but she always seems to have let him come back for more. This collage of old material intercut with more recent interviews with ex-colleagues and managers was presented as an attempt to dissect the mystery of her celebrity, but if there is a secret recipe it wasn't uncovered here.

Towards the end of the film, someone said that she was inspiring evidence that if you really want something, belief alone will eventually secure it for you, a poisonous cliché that allows unattainable dreams to supplant perfectly achievable ones in far too many people. But the truth appeared to be that Jordan wasn't an ordinary girl at all, but possessed of a raucous, blousy charisma that very cleverly combined sex appeal with cartoonish unreality.

She came across as rather likeable here, starting out as a precocious girl with a distinctly Jade Goodie-ish cast to her face and slowly transforming herself – with the help of scalpel, slap and paparazzi lightening – into a celeb-mag fixture. You might question the aesthetic wisdom of her third breast job, which look as if they're going to induce serious spinal injury in the long run. And you might feel that it would have been better if she had not thrown herself quite so eagerly into the drunken club nights that helped extend the Jordan franchise. But her unflustered commitment to her first son, born with serious disabilities, and the complete lack of pretension with which she has assembled what's said to be a £30 million fortune were impressive. It's faintly ludicrous that she should now be seeking privacy, after a career entirely based on reckless self-exposure. But even that is likely to pay off in the long run. Her first autobiography was for a time the best-selling autobiography in British history.Since then she's managed to scrape up enough material for two more. So just imagine what kind of advance number four is going to command if she can successfully hold back some beans to spill later.

Jonathan Ross said of Jordan that she is "as common as muck and we love her", an affectionate remark that suggested that the love came not in despite of the muckiness but because of it. You could say something similar of Benidorm, I suppose, a sitcom with a Jordanesque brashness about bodily appetites that has been a modest hit for ITV. I've laughed at Benidorm before now, but last night's special was a distinctly laboured affair. "There are no strangers in Benidorm, only friends you haven't met," said the oily Spanish waiter at one point. "What bloody Christmas cracker did you get that out of?" replied another character. The same one where they got the jokes, I take it. There were thudding malapropisms ("The doctor thinks you might have percussion," said to a man who's just had a blow to the head), comic misunderstandings (a man called Wheedon is addressed as Senor Widdle by a doctor) and creaky physical comedy (man rushes to open door to stairs only to find that it's a broom cupboard). Let's go somewhere else next year.

t.sutcliffe@independent.co.uk

Arts and Entertainment

game of thrones reviewWarning: spoilers

Arts and Entertainment
The original Star Wars trio of Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill

George Osborne confirms Star Wars 8 will film at Pinewood Studios in time for 4 May

film

Arts and Entertainment
Haunted looks: Matthew Macfadyen and Timothy Spall star in ‘The Enfield Haunting’

North London meets The Exorcist in eerie suburban drama

TV

Arts and Entertainment

Filming to begin on two new series due to be aired on Dave from next year

TV

Arts and Entertainment
Kit Harington plays MI5 agent Will Holloway in Spooks: The Greater Good

'You can't count on anyone making it out alive'film
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Arts and Entertainment

ebooksNow available in paperback
Arts and Entertainment

ebooks
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating
    and  

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    Fishing for votes with Nigel Farage: The Ukip leader shows how he can work an audience as he casts his line to the disaffected of Grimsby

    Fishing is on Nigel Farage's mind

    Ukip leader casts a line to the disaffected
    Who is bombing whom in the Middle East? It's amazing they don't all hit each other

    Who is bombing whom in the Middle East?

    Robert Fisk untangles the countries and factions
    China's influence on fashion: At the top of the game both creatively and commercially

    China's influence on fashion

    At the top of the game both creatively and commercially
    Lord O’Donnell: Former cabinet secretary on the election and life away from the levers of power

    The man known as GOD has a reputation for getting the job done

    Lord O'Donnell's three principles of rule
    Rainbow shades: It's all bright on the night

    Rainbow shades

    It's all bright on the night
    'It was first time I had ever tasted chocolate. I kept a piece, and when Amsterdam was liberated, I gave it to the first Allied soldier I saw'

    Bread from heaven

    Dutch survivors thank RAF for World War II drop that saved millions
    Britain will be 'run for the wealthy and powerful' if Tories retain power - Labour

    How 'the Axe' helped Labour

    UK will be 'run for the wealthy and powerful' if Tories retain power
    Rare and exclusive video shows the horrific price paid by activists for challenging the rule of jihadist extremists in Syria

    The price to be paid for challenging the rule of extremists

    A revolution now 'consuming its own children'
    Welcome to the world of Megagames

    Welcome to the world of Megagames

    300 players take part in Watch the Skies! board game in London
    'Nymphomaniac' actress reveals what it was really like to star in one of the most explicit films ever

    Charlotte Gainsbourg on 'Nymphomaniac'

    Starring in one of the most explicit films ever
    Robert Fisk in Abu Dhabi: The Emirates' out-of-sight migrant workers helping to build the dream projects of its rulers

    Robert Fisk in Abu Dhabi

    The Emirates' out-of-sight migrant workers helping to build the dream projects of its rulers
    Vince Cable interview: Charging fees for employment tribunals was 'a very bad move'

    Vince Cable exclusive interview

    Charging fees for employment tribunals was 'a very bad move'
    Iwan Rheon interview: Game of Thrones star returns to his Welsh roots to record debut album

    Iwan Rheon is returning to his Welsh roots

    Rheon is best known for his role as the Bastard of Bolton. It's gruelling playing a sadistic torturer, he tells Craig McLean, but it hasn't stopped him recording an album of Welsh psychedelia
    Morne Hardenberg interview: Cameraman for BBC's upcoming show Shark on filming the ocean's most dangerous predator

    It's time for my close-up

    Meet the man who films great whites for a living
    Increasing numbers of homeless people in America keep their mobile phones on the streets

    Homeless people keep mobile phones

    A homeless person with a smartphone is a common sight in the US. And that's creating a network where the 'hobo' community can share information - and fight stigma - like never before