TELEVISION / Tabloid TV

Those Tabloid TV 'scoops' in full: News of the week came from the set of Beadle's About - or rather the garden of the show's gag victim, who struck out with a gardening fork after a lorryload of manure had been dumped on his garden. The man then reportedly broke down in tears when he realised he was a Beadle victim. The whole marvellous story sparked an anti-Beadle leader in Today.

Elsewhere, Ronnie Barker decided against suing police for wrongful arrest over an antique in his shop that had been 'stolen from a little old lady'; three ex-Army officers used 'X-rated one-liners' when they appeared on Blind Date; Edward Woodward, who is to make a film for S4C, said he was terrified of learning Welsh, and Michael Winner declined to do a GMTV interview, minutes before the cameras were about to roll, when he was informed that he would be asked about his heart condition.

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