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Main Claim: Apparently he's a pretty good footballer, but we're not too interested in that. Let's face it: Giggsy is best known for his girls and his curls.

Appearance: Haunted gypsy boy in Granada costume drama. Marco Pierre White on a strict 1,000 cals a day. Mop-headed rogue of the Rufus Sewell, cheeky-chappy-with-hungry-wolf-gaze, variety. Wouldn't trust the lad.

Ball Boy: Ryan is a bit of a one for the girls, is Ryan. It seems that the 23-year-old Man United Uberkicker has been leading the ladies a merry dance, double dating models and actresses with gay abandon. Some of his dates have now whinged to the press.

Side kicks: Giggsy's ball skills burst into flower at the age of 17, earning him a reputed pounds 13,000 a week. But now he's an adolescent babe magnet (see Just Seventeen's poster section), kiss-and-tell queens litter the dailies. "We kissed and began feeding each other ice cream," says a model of her first meeting. A nameless ex comments: "He can be reckless at times, going home with complete strangers..." Ex-girlfriend Davinia Murphy's complaint: "He watches football all the time." Well well.

Dani Dared: Ryan is best known for having squired TV's sex siren Dani Behr around the clubs and tabloids - simultaneously suffering a trough in form. The crowds at Old Trafford roared: "Stop shagging Giggsy" when she appeared. Dani blames the naughty old press for their break-up. Dani now poses alone in racing cars, curiously resembling a Hollywood megastar one month and Vanessa Feltz's younger sister the next.

Rack and Ruin: Many's the wise old curmudgeon who nods towards George Best for a salutary lesson. Not to mention Gazza. Injured knees, added pounds, beauty queens, useless football. Giggsy's apparently blessed with a superb eye for the ball and a great left foot, but god knows what that means, and he may just merrily bugger it all up with booze, birds and the general shenanigans so beloved of tabloids.

Sins of the Father: Estranged daddy is former rugby league international Danny Wilson whose career was ruined by wayward behaviour. Yes indeedy.

Fame Prospects: Pull up your socks, Giggsy boy. Curb the carousing, put that foot firmly back on the ball and you'll find yourself relegated to the back pages where you're supposed to belong. Alternatively, behave appallingly and stay very famous.