Can't she just level with them and say: 'Look, I know I’m a creepy lying sleazebag who can’t be trusted. I know I backed the Iraq War, and make up so many lies I accidentally claimed I was under fire in Serbia when I meant to say I wandered across a car park – but come on'?
I’ve never reviewed a film and I’ve not seen it yet, so I’m highly qualified to tell you how miserable Ken Loach’s latest offering is
It makes you proud that we’re a Christian nation, acting on the words of Jesus when he said: ‘Let the suffering children come, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these – but not that bastard, he’s 19 if he’s a day’
To Trump’s credit, though it was expected that once he won the nomination he’d abandon his rough style and aim to appear more statesmanlike, he’s avoided that trap and stayed true to himself – even heading the other way. So there must be more to look forward to yet
‘We were more than willing to give him a chance,’ his opponents will say. ‘Indeed for the first 40 seconds some of us even nodded, but over the last minute our poll ratings have failed to improve so we have no choice’
Yes, one woman's benefits were stopped because a dead man who once lived in her house was assumed to be her partner, but that's just what happens when you're enthusiastic about putting the government's words into practice
Most Labour MPs supported Tory Party policies on welfare, immigration and war, so when the General Secretary gets round to banning them, there will end up being a minus figure of members, meaning any candidate who wins nought votes will be the clear winner
Farage ended his speech with a cry to defeat the establishment. This was the most heartfelt moment of all, because no one has had to fight harder against the establishment than Trump
The marvellous thing about privatisation is it introduces choice. If customers trying to get from East Grinstead to London aren’t happy with their rail service, they can choose to use a different rail network – such as the Trans-Siberian Express
How cruel they were, forcing the poor woman against her will to participate in a government that cut the top tax rate, and trebled tuition fees, and introduced the bedroom tax, all while deciding not to fund jobs for unemployed young people using some of the money from bankers’ bonuses
If you were cynical you might wonder if, despite their ability to reach out to people, Corbyn’s opponents feel they’d be unlikely to beat him in a straight vote of members
Like Tony Blair, we were all duped by the intelligence on Saddam Hussein – except for the millions that went on marches, and Nelson Mandela, and France, and the Pope, and the chief weapons inspector, and Robin Cook
'Most of us feel like starting the day by fishing for herring in an area designated for those with a European license. Eventually, you can’t help but be sick of the EU telling you what to do'
Meanwhile Boris Johnson claims immigration is hurting the low paid. You can understand his bitterness, as he’s suffered from low pay himself – earning just £250,000 for a newspaper column
Pro-life groups say abortion pills have ‘unpleasant side effects’. All the priesthood wants is a bit of health and safety. Is that so wrong?
The EU is the only thing stopping Europe returning to the Jurassic period – if we leave, within six months every house will have a stegosaurus in the garden