Like Tony Blair, we were all duped by the intelligence on Saddam Hussein – except for the millions that went on marches, and Nelson Mandela, and France, and the Pope, and the chief weapons inspector, and Robin Cook
It's right that Sarah Vine dictates the terms under which the next Prime Minister stands. After all, she was fairly elected to the important constitutional role of Michael Gove’s Wife
If, during Spain v Turkey at the Euros, the commentator had said, “That cross is cut out by the goalkeeper, who’s probably a commander of Isis and if the EU get their way will be living in Stoke by the end of the week, claiming it’s his human right to fire rocket-propelled grenades at your pot plants”, he’d have the PC brigade claiming this was “racist”
As for Boris, he speaks the people's Latin: 'Cameron? He can do one ad infinitum mate'
The EU is the only thing stopping Europe returning to the Jurassic period – if we leave, within six months every house will have a stegosaurus in the garden
The best way to support the Labour Party is to behave like one of those angry football supporters who screams that their manager should be sacked if they lose one game
The subtle point was that with him as mayor, transport policy would be for all drivers to blow themselves up, and you can’t see the unions agreeing to that
If Colonel Gaddafi had any sense, he’d have told Kelvin MacKenzie he was just about to order free and fair elections when Liverpool fans without tickets broke down his door
In any case the bankers deserved to be bailed out, as they couldn’t possibly anticipate that if they kept taking money it might eventually run out, whereas steelworkers have caused their own downfall by not being Chinese
We all make mistakes. Some of us put cardboard packaging in the wrong recycling box. And some of us try to take £4 billion off the disabled
Soon Osborne will announce the next stage, yelling: “Don’t let maths teachers control your thoughts by telling you what numbers to write down, man, set yourself free of their bureaucracy with our teacherless academies, where you can think of whatever number turns you on!"
I’ve often wished removal men would give me a hand by whacking me with truncheons
New tax rules should apply to all – even our favourite jewel thieves
The British attitude towards language is one of the reasons we’d be hopeless at terrorism
Now we know the Prime Minister admired Bowie’s capacity for reinvention, we can only guess at what he will do next - perhaps painting his face blue in a collaborative work with the SNP
Studies show that the best way to educate someone is to harness all their enthusiasm, then destroy it and teach them lists