Gok Wan on ‘little wins’, his lifelong quest for balance, and why music is a form of self-care

The stylist and TV personality talks to Abi Jackson about the vital role music has played in his own mental wellbeing.

Gok Wan (Sue Lacey Photography/PA)

Gok Wan has realised something: when it comes to wellbeing, there is no one-size-fits-all answer or clear finish line.

“My mental wellbeing is finding balance in my life, which is the one thing I find the biggest struggle,” says the stylist, presenter, DJ and author, 48. “Not overworking, making sure I’ve got enough time for myself, so I can breathe and notice changes and see where I’m going.

“But it’s tough. I’m still working it out. Hopefully by the time I retire, I would have worked out what work-life balance is!” he adds with a laugh.

Being freelance has amplified the struggle – from the early days as a hair and make-up artist to becoming a household name on Noughties TV shows like Gok’s Fashion Fix and How To Look Good Naked. As Wan says: “When you’re freelance, you’re in constant fear of: Am I going to work again? I’m almost 50 now and I still find that difficult, I have to remind myself to switch off, remind myself to take a holiday, remind myself that I can say no to a job.

“Over the years, I’ve missed weddings, holidays, funerals, whatever, because I’ve been working,” he admits – but it’s something he’s been actively working on in recent years, alongside a wider shift in taking better care of himself.

Self-care is something that “constantly changes” for Wan, but: “I’m slightly fixated at the moment on little wins, as I’m calling it, which is appreciating the idea of getting up on time, getting to a job on time, being a good person wherever I’m going, making sure I’ve got enough time for my friends, my family, but also my job – it’s all those little wins for me that makes me feel like I’m doing a better job of being myself.

“And that includes things like walking the dog [Wan’s beloved Dolly], listening to some music – and not being on camera, recording something for social media, or on my computer – otherwise you never stop.”

By doing a bit less, he says: “I’ve probably been far more alert in the work that I am doing, instead of constantly rushing to the next job” – which sums up mindfulness and our quest for being more present in the moment.

“But it’s such a hard lesson, isn’t it?” he reasons. “Because none of us wants to lose our drive or ambition, all of us are very proud of that, when we have it inside of ourselves. And that’s one of the first things people comment on as well, as a compliment – you’ve got so much drive, you work so hard, you’re so good at what you do – and all that validation makes you feel better about yourself. But there’s no point being all of those wonderful things, if then you wake up and all of a sudden you don’t know who you are.”

For Wan, music is vital for keeping this sense of connection with himself and his wellbeing. So it felt like a “natural fit” when Bupa approached him to team up on their #BupaHealthTracks campaign, collaborating with the brand to compile a playlist – now available on his Spotify – with songs that have a positive association with health and wellbeing.

Featuring the likes of Queen’s Don’t Stop Me Now, The Beatles’ Here Comes The Sun and feelgood classics like California Dreaming by The Mamas & the Papas and (Sittin’ On) The Dock Of The Bay by Otis Redding, members of the public can add their own top wellbeing-enhancing tracks too.

Bupa recently surveyed 4,000 UK adults and found 78% say music is a go-to tool for boosting their mood, and 62% say music is an integral part of their health and wellbeing, with 70% saying it’s helped them through stressful times. Pop was revealed as the genre most associated with happiness, while dance came out top for motivation, and classical was the most popular choice for inspiration and holistic wellness – which comes as no surprise for Wan.

“I listen to pretty much every type of music, other than heavy metal – not that I disrespect that in any way. I listen to a lot of opera, classical, and I really enjoy choral music.

“If I need to relax or think about something, I’ve got something on my mind, a project I’m trying to work out, or I’ve had a deep conversation with somebody and I need to process, I find very droney, melodic music really helps my brain to concentrate,” he says. “If I’m walking the dog then I need something very uplifting, I tend to listen to quick classical or quick opera, that gets me on my way. And then house music – from gospel and disco to the clubbier stuff, all the way to ambient trance – depending on where I am in my brain, really.

“I’m very greedy with music. It’s a great way of centring my brain, especially when it’s going a million miles per hour, which it often is. It really can change your mood. For instance, if I’m feeling a bit low or sad or upset, I can either play music that accompanies that and keeps me in that space, if I need to be thinking about something. Or I can completely shift my mood by playing something uplifting that makes me smile.”

While it’s always been “massively important”, Wan’s relationship with music took on even greater meaning during the pandemic.

“If anything, music got me through – well, it’s one of the things that got me through,” he recalls of lockdown. “I had a really tough time, I hated it, and I’ve spoken about it very publicly. I’m still dealing with it now – I still have moments where I get the fear of isolation, because it hit me so badly.”

Prior to this, he’d already started DJing professionally, after years of doing it as a hobby. When lockdown hit, he started ‘Isolation Nation’ as an online rave, with thousands logging on to join his weekly DJ sets streamed from his kitchen.

“It wasn’t a selfless act at all – I didn’t do it because I suddenly thought, ‘OK, well I now need to lift the mood of the world’. It was because I needed it as much. I needed to have contact with people, I needed to share things, I needed to be visible, I needed to see other people as well. So it was a two-way street.

“But I couldn’t have done that without the music. It wasn’t me that I was playing out to people. Music is hugely powerful in that. [It was] one of the things that saved me from the lockdown – and many people have told me they felt the same thing.”

Gok Wan is supporting Bupa’s #BupaHealthTracks campaign, using music to celebrate health and wellness in all its different forms. To listen or add your own songs, find the playlist on Spotify.