Today's letter from the Editor
Today's Matrices
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Existing Customer Telephone Consultants

£13000 - £18000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Every day they get another 1000...

Recruitment Genius: Contract Manager

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: This leading provider of refrigeration, mechan...

Recruitment Genius: Technical Support Manager

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: This leading provider of refrigeration, mechan...

Recruitment Genius: 3rd Line IT Support / Senior Engineer / Support Analyst

£24000 - £32000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An exciting opportunity has ari...

i Assistant Editor's Letter: Setting the record straight

 

If you ask me, the joke has gone on far too long already. I thought that my letter on Saturday would have put the issue beyond doubt, but it appears that I really do need to stop digging in order to get out of this particular hole.

So, let’s set the record straight. Despite what she wrote last Friday, Deborah Ross did not remonstrate with me, mainly because she is not going to be replaced by Pippa Middleton. Neither is Howard Jacobson. No extensive negotiations took place and no lawyers were involved. And there never was a plan to get the Waitrose Kitchen Magazine and Vanity Fair writer to contribute to this paper – not even on 1 April (there was the biggest clue).

No – the whole elaborate plot was brilliantly dreamt up by Deborah herself. But please don’t despair if you were one of those sucked in by her words (Jill, Hazel, Graham, Florence, John, David, Eileen… I could go on). And to Fred, who proudly proclaimed to have spotted the original red herring, only to be subsequently reeled in by my dubious “climbdown” on Saturday, you are not alone. I’ve spared you surnames (I’m not one for ridicule), but you know who you are. If you recognise your name, please drop me a line so I know you haven’t left us for good!

The best of the responses can be found on the letters page (p14), but those others of you who have written to me, threatening to cancel your subscriptions and return to previous papers, there really is no need. I’m slightly hurt that you thought I would do such a thing! Be honest with me now, did you really think I would replace one of our most celebrated award-winning columnists with the sister of our future monarch’s wife?

But now the cat’s out of the bag, I might as well let you know that I’m planning on getting Banksy to do our cartoon on a Saturday, Paris Hilton to keep watch on Obama, and Katie Price to cover the Middle East. Well, you did ask…

Twitter.com: @jonesrhodri

Career Services

Day In a Page

No postcode? No vote

Floating voters

How living on a houseboat meant I didn't officially 'exist'
Louis Theroux's affable Englishman routine begins to wear thin

By Reason of Insanity

Louis Theroux's affable Englishman routine begins to wear thin
Power dressing is back – but no shoulderpads!

Power dressing is back

But banish all thoughts of Eighties shoulderpads
Spanish stone-age cave paintings 'under threat' after being re-opened to the public

Spanish stone-age cave paintings in Altamira 'under threat'

Caves were re-opened to the public
'I was the bookies’ favourite to be first to leave the Cabinet'

Vince Cable interview

'I was the bookies’ favourite to be first to leave the Cabinet'
Election 2015: How many of the Government's coalition agreement promises have been kept?

Promises, promises

But how many coalition agreement pledges have been kept?
The Gaza fisherman who built his own reef - and was shot dead there by an Israeli gunboat

The death of a Gaza fisherman

He built his own reef, and was fatally shot there by an Israeli gunboat
Saudi Arabia's airstrikes in Yemen are fuelling the Gulf's fire

Saudi airstrikes are fuelling the Gulf's fire

Arab intervention in Yemen risks entrenching Sunni-Shia divide and handing a victory to Isis, says Patrick Cockburn
Zayn Malik's departure from One Direction shows the perils of fame in the age of social media

The only direction Zayn could go

We wince at the anguish of One Direction's fans, but Malik's departure shows the perils of fame in the age of social media
Young Magician of the Year 2015: Meet the schoolgirl from Newcastle who has her heart set on being the competition's first female winner

Spells like teen spirit

A 16-year-old from Newcastle has set her heart on being the first female to win Young Magician of the Year. Jonathan Owen meets her
Jonathan Anderson: If fashion is a cycle, this young man knows just how to ride it

If fashion is a cycle, this young man knows just how to ride it

British designer Jonathan Anderson is putting his stamp on venerable house Loewe
Number plates scheme could provide a licence to offend in the land of the free

Licence to offend in the land of the free

Cash-strapped states have hit on a way of making money out of drivers that may be in collision with the First Amendment, says Rupert Cornwell
From farm to fork: Meet the Cornish fishermen, vegetable-growers and butchers causing a stir in London's top restaurants

From farm to fork in Cornwall

One man is bringing together Cornwall's most accomplished growers, fishermen and butchers with London's best chefs to put the finest, freshest produce on the plates of some of the country’s best restaurants
Robert Parker interview: The world's top wine critic on tasting 10,000 bottles a year, absurd drinking notes and New World wannabes

Robert Parker interview

The world's top wine critic on tasting 10,000 bottles a year, absurd drinking notes and New World wannabes
Don't believe the stereotype - or should you?

Don't believe the stereotype - or should you?

We exaggerate regional traits and turn them into jokes - and those on the receiving end are in on it too, says DJ Taylor