Today's letter from the Editor
Today's Matrices
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Property Manager

£25000 - £29000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This independent, growing Sales...

Recruitment Genius: Graphic Designer

£16000 - £20000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Multi-skilled graphic designer ...

Austen Lloyd: Court of Protection Solicitor

£30000 - £50000 per annum + EXCELLENT: Austen Lloyd: Court of Protection Solic...

Recruitment Genius: Senior Supervisor / Housewares / Furniture

£17000 - £20000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is a fantastic opportunity...

i Assistant Editor's Letter: Setting the record straight

 

If you ask me, the joke has gone on far too long already. I thought that my letter on Saturday would have put the issue beyond doubt, but it appears that I really do need to stop digging in order to get out of this particular hole.

So, let’s set the record straight. Despite what she wrote last Friday, Deborah Ross did not remonstrate with me, mainly because she is not going to be replaced by Pippa Middleton. Neither is Howard Jacobson. No extensive negotiations took place and no lawyers were involved. And there never was a plan to get the Waitrose Kitchen Magazine and Vanity Fair writer to contribute to this paper – not even on 1 April (there was the biggest clue).

No – the whole elaborate plot was brilliantly dreamt up by Deborah herself. But please don’t despair if you were one of those sucked in by her words (Jill, Hazel, Graham, Florence, John, David, Eileen… I could go on). And to Fred, who proudly proclaimed to have spotted the original red herring, only to be subsequently reeled in by my dubious “climbdown” on Saturday, you are not alone. I’ve spared you surnames (I’m not one for ridicule), but you know who you are. If you recognise your name, please drop me a line so I know you haven’t left us for good!

The best of the responses can be found on the letters page (p14), but those others of you who have written to me, threatening to cancel your subscriptions and return to previous papers, there really is no need. I’m slightly hurt that you thought I would do such a thing! Be honest with me now, did you really think I would replace one of our most celebrated award-winning columnists with the sister of our future monarch’s wife?

But now the cat’s out of the bag, I might as well let you know that I’m planning on getting Banksy to do our cartoon on a Saturday, Paris Hilton to keep watch on Obama, and Katie Price to cover the Middle East. Well, you did ask…

Twitter.com: @jonesrhodri

Career Services

Day In a Page

Homeless Veterans Christmas Appeal: Drifting and forgotten - turning lives around for ex-soldiers

Homeless Veterans Christmas Appeal: Turning lives around for ex-soldiers

Our partner charities help veterans on the brink – and get them back on their feet
Putin’s far-right ambition: Think-tank reveals how Russian President is wooing – and funding – populist parties across Europe to gain influence in the EU

Putin’s far-right ambition

Think-tank reveals how Russian President is wooing – and funding – populist parties across Europe to gain influence in the EU
Tove Jansson's Moominland: What was the inspiration for Finland's most famous family?

Escape to Moominland

What was the inspiration for Finland's most famous family?
Nightclubbing with Richard Young: The story behind his latest book of celebrity photographs

24-Hour party person

Photographer Richard Young has been snapping celebrities at play for 40 years. As his latest book is released, he reveals that it wasn’t all fun and games
Michelle Obama's school dinners: America’s children have a message for the First Lady

A taste for rebellion

US children have started an online protest against Michelle Obama’s drive for healthy school meals by posting photos of their lunches
Colouring books for adults: How the French are going crazy for Crayolas

Colouring books for adults

How the French are going crazy for Crayolas
Jack Thorne's play 'Hope': What would you do as a local politician faced with an impossible choice of cuts?

What would you do as a local politician faced with an impossible choice of cuts?

Playwright Jack Thorne's latest work 'Hope' poses the question to audiences
Ed Harcourt on Romeo Beckham and life as a court composer at Burberry

Call me Ed Mozart

Paloma Faith, Lana del Ray... Romeo Beckham. Ed Harcourt has proved that he can write for them all. But it took a personal crisis to turn him from indie star to writer-for-hire
10 best stocking fillers for foodies

Festive treats: 10 best stocking fillers for foodies

From boozy milk to wasabi, give the food-lover in your life some extra-special, unusual treats to wake up to on Christmas morning
Phil Hughes head injury: He had one weakness – it has come back to haunt him

Phil Hughes had one weakness – it has come back to haunt him

Prolific opener had world at his feet until Harmison and Flintoff bounced him
'I have an age of attraction that starts as low as four': How do you deal with a paedophile who has never committed a crime?

'I am a paedophile'

Is our approach to sex offenders helping to create more victims?
How bad do you have to be to lose a Home Office contract?

How bad do you have to be to lose a Home Office contract?

Serco given Yarl’s Wood immigration contract despite ‘vast failings’
Green Party on the march in Bristol: From a lost deposit to victory

From a lost deposit to victory

Green Party on the march in Bristol
Putting the grot right into Santa's grotto

Winter blunderlands

Putting the grot into grotto
'It just came to us, why not do it naked?' London's first nude free runner captured in breathtaking images across capital

'It just came to us, why not do it naked?'

London's first nude free runner captured in breathtaking images across capital