Of all the instructions I’ve been given in my career, this was the most peculiar, not to mention demanding.
“Could you be a little bit more like Johnny Depp?” asked the director of a viral commercial for i that we are in the process of shooting, and which is a parody of Edward Scissorhands.
My last dramatic performance was as the vintner in Henry IV, Part One, in the fourth form at school, so you couldn’t really say that I had spent most of my life honing my acting skills and waiting for another moment to shine.
And nor has anyone ever remarked that The Deppster and I are, in actual fact, lookalikes. Nevertheless, I did my best - more Johnny Vegas than Johnny Depp, in truth - and the result will be coming to a computer screen near you in the very near future.
Meanwhile, back in what passes for the real world, we at i are looking forward to meeting more of our readers at tonight’s party in the splendid setting of the Royal Academy in London. Our last event, a month or so ago, gave some of you the opportunity to tell us what you thought about the paper, while consuming copious amounts of white wine. I know, it could have gone horribly wrong, but thankfully most of you were happy with our daily offering, and had only relatively minor improvements to suggest, like raising the quality of the wine at our parties, for instance!
There were other, more helpful, suggestions, some of which we have already incorporated in the paper. I’m sure that tonight will yield more interesting insights for us, as well as giving us the opportunity to see some fine art, and judge whether you’re as good-looking as the first lot. I’ll let you know tomorrow!